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The things that matter most.

Merry Christmas Eve! Or Happy Christmas Eve! Or as my dad would say “Wait, where is Christmas Adam?”

I’m still surprised it is Christmas tomorrow (or today depending when you’re reading this) and there is no snow.. I was just out playing in the sprinklers a few minutes ago. That’s a lie, but still.. I want some snow!

So this week was the Finale of House of DVF. I still can’t believe it is all over! The whole experience changed my life in so many ways. It was one of those pivotal moments that set me on a completely different path than I ever thought I would be on. I know the same goes for all of the other girls, and I am so grateful I had to opportunity to meet them. I am so excited for Brittany! She is going to be one aaammmaaazing Brand Ambassador!

She is perfect.

Also my whole outfit is Shabby Apple!

I’ll be writing about Brit and the finale in a later post! Today I am going to talk about my girl Lenore.

As I got to know the girls, I immediately felt a close bond with Lenore. I don’t know if this was because she is so personable and funny, or because I feel like her relationship with her family is similar to mine. Well, it is probably both reasons! She is also such a sincere and genuine person, she never could say anything rude or condescending about anyone; it is just not in her nature, she really cares about people. And I have a hunch that a big reason she is like this is because of her family.

Whoops my hand is photobombing!

When I met Lenore she mentioned how the first thing she was going to do once we were done filming was call her mom and tell her all about her day- because she is her best friend. I really admired that! I think it is such a rare thing to find people who have such close bonds with family. I know from my experience that a big reason I am who I am is because of my family. And I know that much of Lenore’s fabulous self must be a result of her sweet family as well.

I had to add this picture too because I found it online hahah.

Like Lenore, I’ve gone my whole life with the the greatest best friends in the world- my family! They have always been there for me through thick and thin. We’ve gone through struggles and yucky stuff, but that is what life is for. I could never imagine being without them. I have had people in my life who have tried to diminish my relationship with my family and the people I love. I’ve even put myself in situations where I take my family for granted. Though these things were not fun.. and I was really dumb.. I am glad I experienced them, so now I remember how valuable my loved ones truly are.

The last few months I have been really trying to find myself.. all while trying to date. It’s so strange to be living the single life again, and honestly I am not the best at balancing my priorities. I miss parts of being married.. I miss always having a companion. It’s been a struggle to try and take things slow and relaxed because I want more than anything to find the person I am supposed to end up with. I used to think I was such a patient person.. pppfffftt.. yeah right! It all sort of sucks (sort of = TOTALLY). But yesterday as I was trying to give myself a pep talk I remembered what got me through the horrible process of divorce- my family, and Christ. How dumb could I be? Once the divorce process was over I sort of just fell back into my old habits of trying to do things myself, and not relying so much on Christ. I also started spending tons and tons of time on dates, instead of with my family and close friends. Though this kept me distracted, it didn’t truly make me happy or complete. So I thought- why now, as I am in a tiny slump that doesn’t even compare to the suckiness (yes, it’s a word) of divorce, am I just relying on myself to get by?

I think at one time or another we all believe that we can overcome our trials and hard situations on our own. Or it is the opposite and you lose complete hope in yourself that you will ever get past what you are going through. I’ve experienced both of these. I am not saying that it is impossible to get over barriers on your own, or that there aren’t trials in life that will go on for looooong periods of time. But I do know that whenever I center my life, thoughts and actions around Christ, I am able to overcome anything and am never alone.

I am so grateful that we have Christmas to remind us of our elder brother Jesus Christ. Obviously I needed this reminder- that He lived so we can truly live and find happiness. Life gets busy and distracting, other times we get lazy or get into routines that don’t allow us time to think and study about what truly matters. It is sad that that is how life goes, because we should treat everyday like Christmas. We should always keep our loved ones as close as we do during the holidays. We should always have Christ and his example alive in our hearts and in our actions each day. And we should always have hope that if things are looking down, they will get better if you have your sights set on the right places.

I had the honor of snapping some photos in some cute clothes today. Although it looks like it was a nice warm day in April.. can someone tell Jack Frost we are waiting for him, and if he is any later he can consider himself fired?

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Shirt: Thrifted- Sorry it was a handmade find!

Tights: Merona

Shoes: Vince Camuto (old)

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Coat: Vintage Makoff

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Shirt: Thrifted

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Coat: Vintage Makoff

So there you have it. Some cute clothes. I really enjoy the holidays because it is also a prime time to wear pretty things!

But ultimately like I said before, the very best part of the holidays is Christ. Our Older brother, who lived and died for us all so we can learn, grow and find true happiness. Because of Him we have the chance to love and cherish our families, whoever they may be. For some it might be friends and others it might be relatives. But we should all remember who and what really matters. After all, in the end a pretty dress, a cool car, or a buttload of money isn’t going to matter. The relationships we had and the people we loved will be what counts. We should all treat every day of the year as if it were Christmas. And remember that when we let Him in to our lives we are NEVER alone, and can get through anything that comes our way.

Like C.S. Lewis so gracefully said:

“Look for Christ and you will find Him. And with Him, everything else.”

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Codi

Grandpa’s Shop

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Let’s take a look back into my competition soccer days. Running laps.

You could always find me 13,000 miles behind everyone else. OK.. maybe I was not ever THAT far behind, but you get the gist; I hated it. It also didn’t help that I probably looked like Wormtail from Harry Potter.

“Hey guys, wait up!!”

I’m not a good runner nor have I ever been! But- I did it. I always finished even if I had to stop to barf somewhere along the way. Wow, what an attractive picture this whole last paragraph just painted, I am such a beautiful woman! I might as well end this blog post here and leave it at that; I will have so many followers now.

The point I am getting at is that life is not always fun. Sometimes it is a walk, sometimes it is a run. And the last few months have definitely been a run for little old me. This post is #1 of the yucky run saga, so please enjoy.

“When I got home from House of DVF..”- this is a phrase I feel I’ve used in my blog posts a billion times, so here I go using it again. But when I got home, I was very out of sorts. You see, I left to New York thinking I was going to be there for at least a month (since that is what I was told by production). So my husband and I decided it would be best for us to pack up our lives and put everything into storage, so he could stay with his parents while I was gone; I didn’t want him to be alone. We were going to move to a new place when I got done with my DVF shenanigans.

So it was quite the surprise when I was only in New York for a whopping 4 days! Wow. We really packed up our lives for this? And were then instantly homeless. So we camped out at the in-laws house for a few days. It was then that my sweet grandpa started getting very sick. He had been sick for years but this time I knew it was much more serious. I couldn’t handle it, I tried to just ignore it for so long, but it got to the point where I realized grandpa wouldn’t be here much longer. I wouldn’t be able to walk into his shop and give him a big hug. I wouldn’t be able to hear him saying “I just want you to remember how much we love you, we pray for you every day. We sure are lucky to have our Codi.” While his shaky hand held mine and his big eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t take it. My heart felt like it was being crushed, smashed and ripped into a billion pieces.

Grandpa was the kindest person I’ve ever known; he was always looking out for everyone’s well being and happiness over his own. For the last 10 or so years of his life grandpa was wheelchair bound due to his neuropathy. He got depressed often because he could no longer do service (to the extent he would like) for others. He was the ultimate fix it man, grandpa knew how to build or fix just about anything. But what always impressed me most was his ability to build people up, and fix broken hearts. There was not a soul he didn’t treat like they were the most special person in the world; especially grandma.

As my marriage was winding down, I remember walking into grandpa’s room to talk to him. He laid there, sick, pale and thin, yet the first thing out of his mouth was “You just hang in there sweetie, everything is going to be alright.” I sat next to his bed and held his hand while I cried like a baby. It was my regular routine for weeks on end- I still don’t know where all of that water came from. I was just so confused and so heartbroken. Trying to piece together a relationship that was hurting my very being, while trying to cope with saying goodbye to grandpa. He looked at me and said, “Code, look at me and grandma. Have you ever seen grandma upset like this? I do everything I possibly can to make her happy, and you deserve that too.” then he laughed and said ” Well.. maybe don’t look at me and grandma the last few years, because she has had to do everything for me!” referring to how she had to physically do everything for him. This should have made me laugh, but it made me cry harder because of how cute he was. Always trying to make others laugh, and always looking on the bright side even when things looked pretty dang dark. I’ll never forget what he said to me that day though, I do want the same relationship that grandma and grandpa had. More than anything.

Not even just solely their relationship, but I want someone who is always thinking and doing kind things for others, and not just for me. Grandpa was a perfect example of this form of Christlike love. And I think it draws a neat parallel to how talented he was with woodworking, and fixing things. He has a whole shop full of tools; all used to mend things that are broken, and create objects to use for some purpose or another. The shop is in essence, just like grandpa. And also just like Christ- it’s whole purpose is to mend and to create. And tools cannot serve their purpose unless they are in the hands of someone who knows how to use them.

Grandpa’s shop

Sweater: Thrifted

Skirt: Shabby Apple- Waltzing Matilda

Bracelet: Tarina Tarantino

“Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”

Jacket: Thrifted (sorry I thrift too much, get off my back!)

I’d be lying if I said being in the shop without grandpa there was easy. It’s just not quite the same.

When I stepped into the shop it was very cold, so I flipped on the old heater. It groaned to life and that stale smell of burning dust filled the room. It started to warm up as I set up my tripod. As it got warmer in there, memories started coming to mind. And it helped me think of all the joy and warmth he brought to not only grandma, but the rest of our family and numerous other people. It reminded me what I want to strive to be, not only for myself but for my future family. And I want someone by my side who will build me up to be a better me each day.

I’m holding my standard of men wwaaayy up on grandpa’s level; I want to marry someone who carries the same virtues and kindness as him. I want to constantly feel the way he made every one around him feel; loved valued and special. I want to use the tools I have been given in life to do good wherever I go. And I can’t wait to find the man who has his own “shop full of tools” to build up those around him. I am so incredibly grateful for the amazing example I have in my sweet grandpa.

So now if you’re feeling sad or nostalgic or something like I was, don’t be. Scroll back up to the top of this post and look at the picture of Wormtail again.

Till next time my friends!

Codi

Not Too Shabby

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Hey, I am back!

And I am going back in time.. to when I got home from House of DVF.

I am going to be honest- keeping up with a blog is tough stuff for me. Especially when I am writing on the past and reflecting back on things that have already happened.. and were also rough on me. It is also hard with my school projects and photo gigs that are piling up like dirty laundry! Eeeek! I need a life manager, anyone interested in filling this position?? If so contact me at codineedsmajorhelp@aintnobodygottimefothat.com, thanks!

So. I am going to go ahead and start with my outfit deets from House of DVF. Just jumping right in.

I exited House of DVF in a whole lot of Shabby Apple goodness!

Sweater- Bielby sweater

Skirt- Bloom Skirt (in mint)

Is it so wrong that I just wore this outfit again this week, in the cold winter weather? No, the colors make me too happy, go away winter, no one likes you!

Shabby Apple is great for so many reasons. 1. It is all super modest and fashionable. I don’t have to worry about wearing anything under or over any of my Shabby Apple clothing. 2. It is owned and run by the SWEETEST people. They are super professional, kind and just plain awesome! 3. Um. Just go take a look for yourself. I have an eye on the Athelia Skirt right now.. hoping to wear it to my next royal ball of course!

Shabby Apple clothes have the tendency to make me feel like a princess..even when I am playing dress up in my room.

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

So go check them out and give them some love! Though I was sent home from House of DVF, at least I walked out in style!

Speaking of being sent home, I’d like to write a little love note to my girl Tiffani.

Tiffani went home on this last Sunday’s episode. I sure love this girl! I think we are soul sisters. I mean, not just because we were both grungy concert-attending teens at one point in our lives. But I also think we sort of have the same sense of humor. One of the times I was in NY to film I met up with Tiff one night to grab dinner. We went down to a little diner and talked about how we each had found out about House of DVF. Turns out we were the only two who found out about the opportunity from Craigslist and Facebook. So this must mean we are both very classy ladies.. or just very lucky haha! I think we are similar in the way that this opportunity was very unreal to us. From our upbringings, to where we live; I don’t think either of us had ever expected to get an opportunity like this in life ( at least not at this age). Something like this seemed almost unattainable, it was sort of like we had found a Golden Ticket!

Love this girl like a sister!

As we sat at the diner eating, we started coming up with ideas of funny things we wanted to do. Ok, so whenever something crazy happened we were supposed to let the producers know so they wouldn’t miss any good footage. Tiff and I decided it would be wise if we set up a little skit. We were going to call them and say something along the lines of “Woah, there is a huge fight going on right now on the 10th floor! Kier and Abs are having a legit sword fight. Brittany knocked Lenore out and Jinna is egging them on! Amanda is wrestling with Rhianna and Coco.. and we don’t even know why they are back.. and to top it off DVF is sitting in the middle of it all crying!!” Ok, maybe I elaborated that a bit.. but we were going to say something similar hahah. So then when the crew would come rushing up to the 10th floor of the hotel, Tiff and I would have a boombox set up playing some goofy song. And we would come out doing a choreographed dance in our footie pajamas. Oh my gosh, I’m still mad we never got to follow through with this plan. It would have been the best!! But let’s be honest, they would have cut the footage to make it look like we showed up to our first day of work in our footie pajamas, and it was super unprofessional of us. Then it would cut to a scene of me crying saying “Footie Pajamas are power!” I can just see it now!

After Tiffani and I ate we walked over to Rite Aid to get some snacks. We pulled around those funny little baskets and filled them with really healthy choices like chocolate candy and chips. We spent a good while looking at the cheap makeup and talked about life. I remember Tiff saying something about makeup, and she was going to make sure her makeup was flawless through the show so she could hopefully get some modeling gigs. Um, her makeup could be smeared all over her face and she would still look gorgeous! You New York people better utilize little Tiff’s gorgeous self for some modeling before she gets snatched right up by some big agency! If I lived in NY she would be my model of choice on the daily!

Why is she so perfect??

Tiff is also an AMAZING singer. Would you ever have guessed? She needs to record her stuff asap. You would all drool over her voice. I guess it’s just not fair she got blessed with so many great qualities. She’s only 19, and Tiff is going to go far in life!! I am so proud of her, and so grateful I got to know her and now have such a great friend; the little sister I never had!

Tiffani really made an impact on me when we were in the middle of filming. There was a moment off camera when she came up to me and gave me a big hug. She said something like “I’m so glad you’re here. This whole thing is going to be really hard and stressful. It is nice to know there is someone like you here I know will be there for me when things get tough.” Just that sentence made my whole day. It made me feel needed and important. Tiffani is the perfect example of someone who is taking control over where her life goes no matter what set of cards she is dealt. She is such sweet, beautiful girl and I am so excited to hear about her new adventure working at the DVF store!!

Go read her departure blog here. You won’t regret it!

Tiffani was on my mind a LOT once I got home from NY and started going through the bumpiest final patches of my marriage, and the last days spent with my grandpa before he passed. Watching Tiff’s successes and growth, I knew I could get through my trials as well and come out on top. My next post will be on these very personal and life changing trials I went through (and some rad leather bags that you will want to snatch right up), so make sure to check back next week!

Thanks for reading, til next time!

Love, Codi

i am codi

life, art, & fashion

Tag Archives: apple

The things that matter most.

Grandpa’s Shop

Not Too Shabby