Goodbye 2014!

Happy New Years!

Only a few days late.

I can safely say I have never valued a new year as much as I do this time around, 2014 was easily the hardest year of my life. It was just chock-full of change… and I don’t particularly enjoy change.

It ranged from heartbreak, death and losing people I loved- to family members, new friendships and incredible learning experiences. Though it was hard and I am still wondering how I survived with half of my sanity (ok ok.. maybe a fourth of my sanity) I wouldn’t have had it play out any other way.

As crazy events dragged me uuuuppp and ddoooowwnn the most wild emotional roller coaster, I learned more than I ever thought I could. It sounds super cheesy to say it all helped me find myself.. but it did. It also showed me that I will never fully “find myself” not til the day comes where I am old wrinkled and ready to head up the big white staircase. And no, silly, I’m not talking about the stairs in the DVF building. Though… maybe the stairway to heaven does look pretty similar.

Life is for learning, and we will each be learning until the day we die. I couldn’t be more grateful for all of the experiences- yucky and wonderful- that have brought me to the point I am at today. All it shows me is that God loves me and knows where I need to go, He knows a whole lot better than I do.

There have been two words on my mind A LOT since 2014 started coming to an end.

Talents and Trials.

These are two things that every single one of us has, and we can choose what we do with them and how we handle them. I also believe that they are two of the biggest character builders depending on how we utilize them.

This past year many of the exciting opportunities I had were because I decided to use some of my talents in different ways. I think at times it gets easy to not venture out of your comfort zone in fear of failure. But how will you ever grow if you aren’t allowing yourself to?

Not only did I have many exciting and fun opportunities from utilizing my talents; but I was able to reach out to people I never would have been able to otherwise. I made amazing friends and was able to bless their lives- even if just in the smallest way- because I didn’t hide my talents and abilities. If you think that you have a talent or gift that is unimportant or useless- think again! You weren’t made that way for nothing, so really consider what you can do to utilize it and to touch others lives for the better. For example.. if for some reason you are just so good at cleaning toilets, I have four! You would make me so happy if you came over and used your great ability! See, so worth it.

But in all seriousness- my whole life I had really been intrigued by fashion and beauty. And the last few years I have really enjoyed it and thrived in the artistic side of it. For a very long time I thought that I was prideful for enjoying fashion.. it must mean I’m a bad person or something! So.. I didn’t really do anything about it. Til the House of DVF casting started and I decided to apply on a whim, not thinking it would go anywhere. Well.. it went somewhere. Maybe not exactly where I thought it would go, but I can tell you that I can’t imagine where my life would be had I not tried to follow through with that talent of mine. However dumb, or bad I thought it was, I was so greatly blessed. I still can’t believe where my life has taken me since then.

I can also tell you that from using my talents.. a whole slew of trials tagged along. At first I was bitter about this. Why me? I won’t survive this. What do I even do?? It just didn’t make sense. And honestly it never would have made any sense had I not turned completely to God to get me through it all. It is funny to me that God is the not only the one who gets you out of trials.. but He is the one who gets you into them. There was a point in my life where I felt like maybe God didn’t love me and that was why he wanted to give me a hard time. But I soon came to realize that it was because He loved me that He gave me afflictions. He didn’t want me to stay where I was, because He knew I had the potential to learn, grow and become a better me. Now as I look back I also can see that He knew once I passed through my hardships that I would be a much happier girl. I don’t think I have ever been as happy as I am now! And I am so insanely grateful for everything I went through, and still go through. Because I know for a fact that there are always better things ahead.

Look at yourself and your talents and trials. What are you doing with what you’ve been dealt? Are you hiding them away, or are you sharing them? Please share them. It helps people like me know that I am not the only one trying to struggle by, we are all in the same boat. And we all have abilities and experiences we can use to help the people around us.

I’m going to share some of my favorite and not so favorite moments of 2014 with you now in photos. Lets see what I can rummage up.

I made new friendships, and met some amazingly talented people

I strengthened old friendships and had so much fun in the process.

I was able to spend a lot of quality time with my sweet family

I said goodbye to my baby brother for two years

Said goodbye to someone I planned on spending the rest of my life with

And had to say goodbye to my sweet sweet grandpa

Became an aunt to the best nephew in the world

I pretended to be a model

Brandon Cruz Photography

Lauren Lu Photography

Jordan Carli Photography for Jacobs Scarves

Vania Stoyanova Photography

Lauren Zurchin Photography

Also pretended to be on a reality tv show in New York

Made (or tried to make) some new art

Experienced so many beautiful places

Goodness. That was a lot. I doubt anyone enjoyed that or cringed as much as I did. So much good, so much bad. But I can’t help but smile at the beauty of it all and that I got to experience it.

I can’t wait for what 2015 has in store. Bring it on. I’m pretty sure I can handle whatever comes my way this time..I’ll keep my fingers crossed at least!

I know that the things I experienced were unique to me, but I sincerely believe that all of us travel through good and hard times. I also know that everyone has the capacity to learn so very much from whatever they face. I challenge you to embrace your talents gifts and skills this year, and to share your experiences with those around you. Step out of your comfort zone to be a better you, whether it be in your relationships, schooling, work or something completely different! And always keep your head up and remember there are always better things ahead than anything you leave behind.

Here’s to another great year… aahhhh!

Aaannd sorry I didn’t include any new photos and clothes. I decided to save those for my next post, where I will also talk about some things I learned from beautiful Kier from House of DVF.

Thanks for reading/ looking at so many never ending pictures that you probably could care less about!

Buh-bye for now.

Codi

The things that matter most.

3 Replies

Merry Christmas Eve! Or Happy Christmas Eve! Or as my dad would say “Wait, where is Christmas Adam?”

I’m still surprised it is Christmas tomorrow (or today depending when you’re reading this) and there is no snow.. I was just out playing in the sprinklers a few minutes ago. That’s a lie, but still.. I want some snow!

So this week was the Finale of House of DVF. I still can’t believe it is all over! The whole experience changed my life in so many ways. It was one of those pivotal moments that set me on a completely different path than I ever thought I would be on. I know the same goes for all of the other girls, and I am so grateful I had to opportunity to meet them. I am so excited for Brittany! She is going to be one aaammmaaazing Brand Ambassador!

She is perfect.

Also my whole outfit is Shabby Apple!

I’ll be writing about Brit and the finale in a later post! Today I am going to talk about my girl Lenore.

As I got to know the girls, I immediately felt a close bond with Lenore. I don’t know if this was because she is so personable and funny, or because I feel like her relationship with her family is similar to mine. Well, it is probably both reasons! She is also such a sincere and genuine person, she never could say anything rude or condescending about anyone; it is just not in her nature, she really cares about people. And I have a hunch that a big reason she is like this is because of her family.

Whoops my hand is photobombing!

When I met Lenore she mentioned how the first thing she was going to do once we were done filming was call her mom and tell her all about her day- because she is her best friend. I really admired that! I think it is such a rare thing to find people who have such close bonds with family. I know from my experience that a big reason I am who I am is because of my family. And I know that much of Lenore’s fabulous self must be a result of her sweet family as well.

I had to add this picture too because I found it online hahah.

Like Lenore, I’ve gone my whole life with the the greatest best friends in the world- my family! They have always been there for me through thick and thin. We’ve gone through struggles and yucky stuff, but that is what life is for. I could never imagine being without them. I have had people in my life who have tried to diminish my relationship with my family and the people I love. I’ve even put myself in situations where I take my family for granted. Though these things were not fun.. and I was really dumb.. I am glad I experienced them, so now I remember how valuable my loved ones truly are.

The last few months I have been really trying to find myself.. all while trying to date. It’s so strange to be living the single life again, and honestly I am not the best at balancing my priorities. I miss parts of being married.. I miss always having a companion. It’s been a struggle to try and take things slow and relaxed because I want more than anything to find the person I am supposed to end up with. I used to think I was such a patient person.. pppfffftt.. yeah right! It all sort of sucks (sort of = TOTALLY). But yesterday as I was trying to give myself a pep talk I remembered what got me through the horrible process of divorce- my family, and Christ. How dumb could I be? Once the divorce process was over I sort of just fell back into my old habits of trying to do things myself, and not relying so much on Christ. I also started spending tons and tons of time on dates, instead of with my family and close friends. Though this kept me distracted, it didn’t truly make me happy or complete. So I thought- why now, as I am in a tiny slump that doesn’t even compare to the suckiness (yes, it’s a word) of divorce, am I just relying on myself to get by?

I think at one time or another we all believe that we can overcome our trials and hard situations on our own. Or it is the opposite and you lose complete hope in yourself that you will ever get past what you are going through. I’ve experienced both of these. I am not saying that it is impossible to get over barriers on your own, or that there aren’t trials in life that will go on for looooong periods of time. But I do know that whenever I center my life, thoughts and actions around Christ, I am able to overcome anything and am never alone.

I am so grateful that we have Christmas to remind us of our elder brother Jesus Christ. Obviously I needed this reminder- that He lived so we can truly live and find happiness. Life gets busy and distracting, other times we get lazy or get into routines that don’t allow us time to think and study about what truly matters. It is sad that that is how life goes, because we should treat everyday like Christmas. We should always keep our loved ones as close as we do during the holidays. We should always have Christ and his example alive in our hearts and in our actions each day. And we should always have hope that if things are looking down, they will get better if you have your sights set on the right places.

I had the honor of snapping some photos in some cute clothes today. Although it looks like it was a nice warm day in April.. can someone tell Jack Frost we are waiting for him, and if he is any later he can consider himself fired?

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Shirt: Thrifted- Sorry it was a handmade find!

Tights: Merona

Shoes: Vince Camuto (old)

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Coat: Vintage Makoff

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Shirt: Thrifted

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Coat: Vintage Makoff

So there you have it. Some cute clothes. I really enjoy the holidays because it is also a prime time to wear pretty things!

But ultimately like I said before, the very best part of the holidays is Christ. Our Older brother, who lived and died for us all so we can learn, grow and find true happiness. Because of Him we have the chance to love and cherish our families, whoever they may be. For some it might be friends and others it might be relatives. But we should all remember who and what really matters. After all, in the end a pretty dress, a cool car, or a buttload of money isn’t going to matter. The relationships we had and the people we loved will be what counts. We should all treat every day of the year as if it were Christmas. And remember that when we let Him in to our lives we are NEVER alone, and can get through anything that comes our way.

Like C.S. Lewis so gracefully said:

“Look for Christ and you will find Him. And with Him, everything else.”

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Codi

Do what you love!

4 Replies

First I’d like to apologize for a couple of things:

1. I’ve dropped the ball. Yes, I am a slow poke and was supposed to write this post a few days ago. But then finals and work happened and I almost keeled over and died. So here I am, late. But still keepin on!

2. I don’t know why I said I’d like to apologize for “a couple of things” because really that is the only thing I am apologizing for…at least at this time.

You can see me right there in the green. It’s really how I feel lately.

First of all. I would like you all to know I just typed out my entire blog post. Only to have my internet freak out.. and it ALL got deleted!! Wow why is everything against me right now? Am I not supposed to be a blogger? Will someone tell me what my future holds?

Ok so hi! Here I go again. As I was saying, I’ve been swamped with homework, finals and work. This past week I thought back to the very moment I registered to go to the University of Utah. In 2010 I was sitting in Moscow, Russia on a very balmy day. Well.. if you consider being so cold that your nose hairs freeze balmy weather, it was extremely balmy. I was Skyping with my parents as they helped me get my photos together to put into a portfolio to take up to the U. I remember feeling SO stressed (probably similar to how I just felt when my whole post got deleted..) I just had so many worries on my mind. “Well I probably shouldn’t major in Fine Art.. that won’t make me enough money.. I need to do something that will be harder for me.” and “The program takes four whole years to complete? I am going to be 198 years old when I graduate, my children and my children’s children will be there to see me get my diploma, and then they will fly home in their hover car.” But ultimately I gave my parents the green light to take my portfolio to the school.. I was going to do what I loved.

As I’ve gone through the process of finding what I love to do, it’s been important for me to learn as much as I possibly can. I’ve always felt that education is such an important thing. Over the years I have had so many people ask me why I would go to school for fine art. “You already have a nice camera, and why waste money on going to school when you are already good at it?” This bothered me so much. Yes, school is expensive, and yes there are many things you can learn on your own outside of a classroom. But I wouldn’t take back a moment of my schooling. There are so many things that I couldn’t have learned any other way than through my college experience.

I had reservations about studying something that had a reputation of producing a bunch of poor, starving hipsters.. I was seriously torn; I thought I should just study something that could make me rich, and make me sound one million many more smarter. But I knew that the Fine Art program was right for me; and I was going to do my very best and work my butt off. I think this decision was one of the most important I’ve ever made. I have learned so much through my college experience, and it had effected my life in so many ways since the very first day. I know that I was given my talents and gifts for a reason. I am a huge advocate of doing what you love, and growing your talents to their greatest extent. When you do this, doors will open; you will meet people you couldn’t have any other way, and you will be directed down an awesome path made specifically for you.

Shortly after I started my artistic journey, my two sweet children came into my world; aka my laptop and my camera. Since they are so near and dear to me it’s always been important to keep them safe; I have had some really beautiful laptop bags over the years. At one point I carried my laptop around in a bag that looked like a giant diaper and said something like “Orthopedic Surgery” on it. Lets just make it very clear I have always been so very stylish!

Before I went to New York I stumbled upon a shop called Fullgive here in Salt Lake. I was immediately super impressed by the quality and originality of their handmade leather goods! Scott from Fullgive made a custom laptop bag before I set out on my House of DVF journey, and I can safely say I have never been so in love with a bag!

Bag: Fullgive

Dress: Trixxi

Scarf: Unknown brand, found similar here

Leggings: Similar found here

Shoes: Not Rated (old)

It sure means a lot to me to be able to do what I love. And I don’t think anyone fully understand how important my laptop is to me. It holds all of my school work, photo work and… life! It sure is nice to have a rad bag that reminds me of how lucky I am to be able to do what I love.

So I know I am behind- but I’d like to tie my girl Abs from House of DVF into this post. When I think of going for what you love I think of this girl. She is such a go getter- and has come such a long way in her life and career already. She has such a diverse range of talents- from design, to acting.. but my favorite quality about her is her amazing sense of humor. I’m pretty dang sure that she made me laugh more than anyone else did from House of DVF. I don’t get how she does it, but she is just so funny!

Babe status.

I am also so thrilled to see where she goes with her career. When we were back in New York shooting promo shots, Abs told me that she was getting her reels together to get more into her acting career. I know she will be so successful! I couldn’t act to save my life! She has also designed some freaking amazing clothes.. that I would be happy to take off her hands if she ever needed to get rid of them for some mysterious reason.

Seriously though? Ok.. coolest skirt ever!

I could go on and on. Her hair- yes. I was always jealous, she always looks like a model. Also she wraps turbans like a champ.. refer back to episode one of House of DVF and you can see her work her magic on Tiff and I.. haha! I could not pull that turban off like she can.. no way! So basically I just think she is amazing. And ultimately am super impressed by her go getter attitude and confidence; she will go so far. Just look at what she has accomplished by doing what she loves and challenging herself every day.

We should all be more like her.. and get out there and be our very best selves! That’s how you get the furthest and reach even the furthest seeming goals.

So please- go do what you love and be confident in it! Gifts and talents aren’t meant to be ignored, they are meant to be used and grown.

In closing, I’d like you to know how impressed I am in myself that I just re-did this entire post after it got deleted. I think I will go do a small jig now. Waaahhhooo!

Thanks for reading!

Codi

“There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.”

6 Replies

Hello hello hello!

Here is another awkward start to another post, so welcome to my brain again!

The next subject on the docket is yet another one that will probably make me cry, wahoo! Just remember.. tears are power.

My last post I talked about my sweet grandpa, and this post starts out with the last week of grandpa’s time here on earth. This is heavy stuff, and it’s going to be hard to write. So be prepared for more strange gaps in my text.

Like this.

And this.

It’s easy to hit the return key when I don’t know how to get out what I want to say. So I’m going to go ahead and do it again.

OK OK I’m done.

Death. This is something I haven’t had to experience very often in my life yet. When I was young the first person I remember passing away was my great grandma “Grandma Great” (or Grandma Grape). I was young enough I don’t remember much about it, other than my mom sending me into her room to say goodbye. It felt strange for me.. but I gave her a hug and said I loved her and awkwardly said bye. It was sad for me, but I was just young enough I didn’t really understand much. I only truly understood one thing- she was going some place better.

The next experience I had with death was my dog Sabra. This may sound stupid and you may be thinking “Oh, please.. a dog?!” But my Sabra was like a sister to me. She was with me through everything, all of my awkward teenage years and tears, and even through my heartbreaks. Not to mention, she loved me even when I was ugly, grumpy, and stupid. Dogs show true unconditional love, and I think every human can learn a thing or two from our canine friends.

Holy crap, I’ve never seen so much dust on one picture!

One day in 2012 my parents were out of town, so I came and house sat for them. I was laying in bed with Sabra curled up by my legs and she started breathing really heavy, and she stood up and started panicking. So at 4 in the morning I took her to the vet because I was so worried. I remember the vet coming into the room, he knelt down and listened to her heart and said “She is going through heart failure, she is dying.” I sat there and stared at him and said “No she’s really not. She is just sick with something.”I went into shock.. I remember sitting down on the floor and hugging her so tight, and cute Sabra just wagged her tail and licked my face while I cried like a baby. I couldn’t lose my puppy.. it wasn’t fair, I needed her! The next month was just horrible, watching her slowly get sicker and sicker and not being able to do anything about it. We set a date to have a vet come to our house to put her to sleep, she just was suffering so much. I slept over a lot that week because I didn’t want to miss a moment with my puppy. I was probably overly weird about the whole thing. Poor Sabra couldn’t cool down, so she would go sit outside in the middle of the night. So I would follow her out with a blanket wrapped around me and sit in the dirt next to her while I sobbed. It got to the point the sprinklers even turned on at like 5 in the morning and I just cried harder and tried to cover her with the blanket.. hahaha. I was a mess! That next morning the vet came over, and we all huddled around our cute puppy, sobbing uncontrollably as he put her to sleep. I know she wasn’t a person, but I feel like the sadness was just as real for us, she was a part of our family. As she let out her last breath I remember thinking, wow, what would I do if I didn’t know she was on her way up to heaven right now? What would be the purpose of life if there wasn’t a bigger picture, if all of the people and things we love just… ended. If we could never be with them again.

Look at that sweet face! After all, dogs are humans too 😉

I just realized I went on for a very long time about Sabra. Do I regret it? No. So I’m sorry if you didn’t care about any of that! But Sabra is a great lead back into Grandpa; because they just so happened to be best friends. I’ve always believed you can tell someone’s character by how they treat animals (well.. and people too of course). But cute grandpa treated(no pun intended) Sabra like his best friend in the world. Sabra’s death was one of the hardest thing for me, up until Grandpa got sick.

As Grandpa’s life started winding down I didn’t know how any of us would handle life without him. I mean, we had barely survived two years without our dog! The day grandpa passed I walked into his bedroom to give him a hug, and he was to the point where he wasn’t really there any more. So I sat and told him how much I loved him and hoped he heard me. The dying process is not pleasant, at one point I had a panic attack as I saw what happened as his body started to shut down. It was horrible to watch someone so dear to me go through that. But we all felt peace, we knew he wasn’t truly suffering; Heavenly Father was taking care of him, He needed him back home. The last few minutes of grandpa’s life, grandma sat next to him and held his hand and they looked lovingly at each other. I know grandpa wasn’t physically able to speak, but I know he was telling her how much he loved her.

I had to just aim my camera in their general direction and guess to take this picture- I think my eyes were swollen shut from crying!

He took his last breath and there was such a special feeling in the room, grandpa was finally free from his imperfect body. I knew he was finally walking, running and leaping again. I also knew he was being welcomed into heaven by so many people(and dogs haha) who he loved; he was being taken care of. Would I be able to survive this life without the knowledge that there is life after death? I don’t think so. What would be the point? Why would we be capable of so much love if there wasn’t a loving Heavenly Father who created us to experience it. Why would we want to do good in the world, be kind, have families and friends.. if there was no point? This life is a test. There is a huge reason why we were all sent here- because we are children of God, and he loves us so perfectly he gave us the opportunity to come here to learn and to grow. And he loves us even more that he doesn’t just leave us here, at one point or another we will each return back to his presence.

About a year ago my sweet baby brother Dalton prepared to serve a full time mission for our church. A mission is essentially another way of saying “Two years spent away from home, preaching the gospel, all while being 100% selfless”. Dalton knew that he wanted to serve a mission because of the happiness and hope the gospel had given him and our family. As the day drew nearer for him to leave to Tahiti, it started dawning on us all that it most likely be the last time he saw grandpa here in this life. Dalton didn’t falter on his decision to leave once, because he saw the big picture; he knew that no matter what happened, he would see grandpa again someday. Dalton knew that the people of Tahiti needed this message of hope and life after death as much as we needed it. He knew that grandpa would want him to go teach of the happiness that we felt each day. Grandpa did pass away while Dalton was gone, but I know that Dalton was probably nearer to grandpa than any of us were, even though we were sitting right next to him.

I’m so proud of my brother’s faith, to go and forget himself and know that the rest would fall into place.

I would say the death of a loved one is one of the hardest trial’s in life to overcome. But we need to remember how beautiful it really is, and that in fact it is not an end. Those who pass on into the next life are very near to us, they watch over us.

This Sunday on House of DVF Jinna was sent home. This girl amazes me. She is not only seriously talented in so many ways, but she also an insanely strong woman. Jinna’s father passed away in 2012 after a battle with cancer. I remember the moment the 8 of us got accepted into the House of DVF “program” sweet Jinna broke into tears (we were all crying). But she turned to me and said something along these lines. After her dad passed away, she never thought things would get better, she had been so stressed and full of anxiety. And she was just so grateful that she got this chance- and she was doing everything she did for her dad. I remember feeling so strong that her dad was right there in that room with her, and he was SO proud of her. I know that he watches over her. I also know that though his death was so early, God’s timing is always perfect. I know that Jinna grew to be the woman she is today because of each step and trial she has experienced up until now. It may not seem fair she had to let him go at such a young age, but I know everything in life happens for a reason; it is all perfectly orchestrated. I just look at Jinna, and the impact she makes on people all throughout the world; it all stems from her father’s legacy. She is keeping him alive by being such an inspiring example and a light for people to look to.

She is beautiful!

I would also like to give my two cents on how she was portrayed on the show. She was apparently supposed to appear to be some crazy drunk all the time.. but seriously? She is not hahaha. I’d like to pose this question- did ANY of her “partying” and drinking impede her from getting her jobs done? Not ever. And also, she is SO talented and business savvy.. and I feel like there was a bunch of footage cut out of her working her magic. I think she would have made a fabulous brand ambassador for DVF. A true example of hard work, intelligence and strength. I think it is even cooler that her drive and work ethic is kept strong by the memory of her father. Like DVF, Jinna is creating her empire with a more meaningful goal in mind- she is doing everything she does for something bigger than herself. I respect Jinna so much, and I know I have so much I can learn from her! Aside from all of the serious and professional things Jinna is amazing at, she also happens to be hilarious!! I can’t count how many times she made me laugh so hard that I cried.. again.. tears are power!

I just love her and her perfect skin.. it’s not even fair!

As I went through losing my grandfather, I thought of Jinna’s strength to survive thrive and grow after her father passed. It helped me look on the positive side of things, and try to see the good in such a difficult situation. I’m so grateful I got to meet such an amazing woman, I know God had his hand in the whole thing so our paths would cross.

Go check out Jinna’s website right now- she is amazing!

www.greaseandglamour.com

Sooo I was originally planning on making this a fashion post- but as I started writing I decided I will wait til next time to show another outfit- and some leather bags that I have been so excited to feature! It just felt strange writing on such a serious topic such as death then going “Hey, now look at this cute outfit!” so please check back later this week for that fun post- where I will also talk about my girl Abs from House of DVF ( Dang E! threw my blog plans all off by sending her home in the same episode!)

Thank you for reading, if you made it this far then you are a very special soul.. I hope I didn’t depress the crap out of you!! I also want to end by emphasizing my knowledge that families can be together forever, and that I know there is life after death. If you want to know more about my beliefs please go read more here or feel free to comment below with any questions. I would be more than happy to answer what I can.

Later gator!

Codi

Grandpa’s Shop

5 Replies

Let’s take a look back into my competition soccer days. Running laps.

You could always find me 13,000 miles behind everyone else. OK.. maybe I was not ever THAT far behind, but you get the gist; I hated it. It also didn’t help that I probably looked like Wormtail from Harry Potter.

“Hey guys, wait up!!”

I’m not a good runner nor have I ever been! But- I did it. I always finished even if I had to stop to barf somewhere along the way. Wow, what an attractive picture this whole last paragraph just painted, I am such a beautiful woman! I might as well end this blog post here and leave it at that; I will have so many followers now.

The point I am getting at is that life is not always fun. Sometimes it is a walk, sometimes it is a run. And the last few months have definitely been a run for little old me. This post is #1 of the yucky run saga, so please enjoy.

“When I got home from House of DVF..”- this is a phrase I feel I’ve used in my blog posts a billion times, so here I go using it again. But when I got home, I was very out of sorts. You see, I left to New York thinking I was going to be there for at least a month (since that is what I was told by production). So my husband and I decided it would be best for us to pack up our lives and put everything into storage, so he could stay with his parents while I was gone; I didn’t want him to be alone. We were going to move to a new place when I got done with my DVF shenanigans.

So it was quite the surprise when I was only in New York for a whopping 4 days! Wow. We really packed up our lives for this? And were then instantly homeless. So we camped out at the in-laws house for a few days. It was then that my sweet grandpa started getting very sick. He had been sick for years but this time I knew it was much more serious. I couldn’t handle it, I tried to just ignore it for so long, but it got to the point where I realized grandpa wouldn’t be here much longer. I wouldn’t be able to walk into his shop and give him a big hug. I wouldn’t be able to hear him saying “I just want you to remember how much we love you, we pray for you every day. We sure are lucky to have our Codi.” While his shaky hand held mine and his big eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t take it. My heart felt like it was being crushed, smashed and ripped into a billion pieces.

Grandpa was the kindest person I’ve ever known; he was always looking out for everyone’s well being and happiness over his own. For the last 10 or so years of his life grandpa was wheelchair bound due to his neuropathy. He got depressed often because he could no longer do service (to the extent he would like) for others. He was the ultimate fix it man, grandpa knew how to build or fix just about anything. But what always impressed me most was his ability to build people up, and fix broken hearts. There was not a soul he didn’t treat like they were the most special person in the world; especially grandma.

As my marriage was winding down, I remember walking into grandpa’s room to talk to him. He laid there, sick, pale and thin, yet the first thing out of his mouth was “You just hang in there sweetie, everything is going to be alright.” I sat next to his bed and held his hand while I cried like a baby. It was my regular routine for weeks on end- I still don’t know where all of that water came from. I was just so confused and so heartbroken. Trying to piece together a relationship that was hurting my very being, while trying to cope with saying goodbye to grandpa. He looked at me and said, “Code, look at me and grandma. Have you ever seen grandma upset like this? I do everything I possibly can to make her happy, and you deserve that too.” then he laughed and said ” Well.. maybe don’t look at me and grandma the last few years, because she has had to do everything for me!” referring to how she had to physically do everything for him. This should have made me laugh, but it made me cry harder because of how cute he was. Always trying to make others laugh, and always looking on the bright side even when things looked pretty dang dark. I’ll never forget what he said to me that day though, I do want the same relationship that grandma and grandpa had. More than anything.

Not even just solely their relationship, but I want someone who is always thinking and doing kind things for others, and not just for me. Grandpa was a perfect example of this form of Christlike love. And I think it draws a neat parallel to how talented he was with woodworking, and fixing things. He has a whole shop full of tools; all used to mend things that are broken, and create objects to use for some purpose or another. The shop is in essence, just like grandpa. And also just like Christ- it’s whole purpose is to mend and to create. And tools cannot serve their purpose unless they are in the hands of someone who knows how to use them.

Grandpa’s shop

Sweater: Thrifted

Skirt: Shabby Apple- Waltzing Matilda

Bracelet: Tarina Tarantino

“Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”

Jacket: Thrifted (sorry I thrift too much, get off my back!)

I’d be lying if I said being in the shop without grandpa there was easy. It’s just not quite the same.

When I stepped into the shop it was very cold, so I flipped on the old heater. It groaned to life and that stale smell of burning dust filled the room. It started to warm up as I set up my tripod. As it got warmer in there, memories started coming to mind. And it helped me think of all the joy and warmth he brought to not only grandma, but the rest of our family and numerous other people. It reminded me what I want to strive to be, not only for myself but for my future family. And I want someone by my side who will build me up to be a better me each day.

I’m holding my standard of men wwaaayy up on grandpa’s level; I want to marry someone who carries the same virtues and kindness as him. I want to constantly feel the way he made every one around him feel; loved valued and special. I want to use the tools I have been given in life to do good wherever I go. And I can’t wait to find the man who has his own “shop full of tools” to build up those around him. I am so incredibly grateful for the amazing example I have in my sweet grandpa.

So now if you’re feeling sad or nostalgic or something like I was, don’t be. Scroll back up to the top of this post and look at the picture of Wormtail again.

Till next time my friends!

Codi

Not Too Shabby

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Hey, I am back!

And I am going back in time.. to when I got home from House of DVF.

I am going to be honest- keeping up with a blog is tough stuff for me. Especially when I am writing on the past and reflecting back on things that have already happened.. and were also rough on me. It is also hard with my school projects and photo gigs that are piling up like dirty laundry! Eeeek! I need a life manager, anyone interested in filling this position?? If so contact me at codineedsmajorhelp@aintnobodygottimefothat.com, thanks!

So. I am going to go ahead and start with my outfit deets from House of DVF. Just jumping right in.

I exited House of DVF in a whole lot of Shabby Apple goodness!

Sweater- Bielby sweater

Skirt- Bloom Skirt (in mint)

Is it so wrong that I just wore this outfit again this week, in the cold winter weather? No, the colors make me too happy, go away winter, no one likes you!

Shabby Apple is great for so many reasons. 1. It is all super modest and fashionable. I don’t have to worry about wearing anything under or over any of my Shabby Apple clothing. 2. It is owned and run by the SWEETEST people. They are super professional, kind and just plain awesome! 3. Um. Just go take a look for yourself. I have an eye on the Athelia Skirt right now.. hoping to wear it to my next royal ball of course!

Shabby Apple clothes have the tendency to make me feel like a princess..even when I am playing dress up in my room.

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

So go check them out and give them some love! Though I was sent home from House of DVF, at least I walked out in style!

Speaking of being sent home, I’d like to write a little love note to my girl Tiffani.

Tiffani went home on this last Sunday’s episode. I sure love this girl! I think we are soul sisters. I mean, not just because we were both grungy concert-attending teens at one point in our lives. But I also think we sort of have the same sense of humor. One of the times I was in NY to film I met up with Tiff one night to grab dinner. We went down to a little diner and talked about how we each had found out about House of DVF. Turns out we were the only two who found out about the opportunity from Craigslist and Facebook. So this must mean we are both very classy ladies.. or just very lucky haha! I think we are similar in the way that this opportunity was very unreal to us. From our upbringings, to where we live; I don’t think either of us had ever expected to get an opportunity like this in life ( at least not at this age). Something like this seemed almost unattainable, it was sort of like we had found a Golden Ticket!

Love this girl like a sister!

As we sat at the diner eating, we started coming up with ideas of funny things we wanted to do. Ok, so whenever something crazy happened we were supposed to let the producers know so they wouldn’t miss any good footage. Tiff and I decided it would be wise if we set up a little skit. We were going to call them and say something along the lines of “Woah, there is a huge fight going on right now on the 10th floor! Kier and Abs are having a legit sword fight. Brittany knocked Lenore out and Jinna is egging them on! Amanda is wrestling with Rhianna and Coco.. and we don’t even know why they are back.. and to top it off DVF is sitting in the middle of it all crying!!” Ok, maybe I elaborated that a bit.. but we were going to say something similar hahah. So then when the crew would come rushing up to the 10th floor of the hotel, Tiff and I would have a boombox set up playing some goofy song. And we would come out doing a choreographed dance in our footie pajamas. Oh my gosh, I’m still mad we never got to follow through with this plan. It would have been the best!! But let’s be honest, they would have cut the footage to make it look like we showed up to our first day of work in our footie pajamas, and it was super unprofessional of us. Then it would cut to a scene of me crying saying “Footie Pajamas are power!” I can just see it now!

After Tiffani and I ate we walked over to Rite Aid to get some snacks. We pulled around those funny little baskets and filled them with really healthy choices like chocolate candy and chips. We spent a good while looking at the cheap makeup and talked about life. I remember Tiff saying something about makeup, and she was going to make sure her makeup was flawless through the show so she could hopefully get some modeling gigs. Um, her makeup could be smeared all over her face and she would still look gorgeous! You New York people better utilize little Tiff’s gorgeous self for some modeling before she gets snatched right up by some big agency! If I lived in NY she would be my model of choice on the daily!

Why is she so perfect??

Tiff is also an AMAZING singer. Would you ever have guessed? She needs to record her stuff asap. You would all drool over her voice. I guess it’s just not fair she got blessed with so many great qualities. She’s only 19, and Tiff is going to go far in life!! I am so proud of her, and so grateful I got to know her and now have such a great friend; the little sister I never had!

Tiffani really made an impact on me when we were in the middle of filming. There was a moment off camera when she came up to me and gave me a big hug. She said something like “I’m so glad you’re here. This whole thing is going to be really hard and stressful. It is nice to know there is someone like you here I know will be there for me when things get tough.” Just that sentence made my whole day. It made me feel needed and important. Tiffani is the perfect example of someone who is taking control over where her life goes no matter what set of cards she is dealt. She is such sweet, beautiful girl and I am so excited to hear about her new adventure working at the DVF store!!

Go read her departure blog here. You won’t regret it!

Tiffani was on my mind a LOT once I got home from NY and started going through the bumpiest final patches of my marriage, and the last days spent with my grandpa before he passed. Watching Tiff’s successes and growth, I knew I could get through my trials as well and come out on top. My next post will be on these very personal and life changing trials I went through (and some rad leather bags that you will want to snatch right up), so make sure to check back next week!

Thanks for reading, til next time!

Love, Codi

House of DVF Episode 2- Goodbye NY!

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What a wild ride!

Once filming was done for Episode 1 of House of DVF the 8 of us went home for a while. We were told we’d be back soon for the rest of the program, and this time we would be in NYC for at least a month. Wow, I had to talk to professors and move my school schedule around. My husband and I also decided we would move out of our apartment so he could be with his family while I was gone, and then we could find a new place when I was done filming! So many big changes, it was an overwhelming but exciting time!

I got anxious and super duper excited as the date drew nearer to return to the Biiiiig Apple! I also felt anxious to leave my husband for so long, it would be the first time we were apart for longer than a week since we got married. But we ultimately knew this opportunity was for our better and would be something that would help me put him through the rest of his schooling. Little did I know how this really would impact our futures.

Bye Utah!

I knew this would be a big turning point in my life, and I couldn’t wait to see where it took me! My whole family was thrilled for my adventure as well and naturally they wanted to come visit me in New York halfway through my stay. I remember asking the producers if my family could come and they vaguely replied “No, you girls will just be so busy, they will need to come visit you sometime in the first two days you are here.” Well.. that would be pointless I thought! What was strange to me was that none of the other girls were told their friends and family could only visit sometime in the first two days. I didn’t catch on. Silly Codi.

Our first day back we all were told to head over to the DVF headquarters. We walked up the big beautiful stairs and sat down at a table and watched Stefani pick clothes to display in one of the stores. She then came over and welcomed us to our first day! Diane then came down the stairs and boom, it all got real! We were assigned our first task by Michael Herz, DVF’s Artistic Director: to create inspiration boards! Can I take a moment to dote on Michael?? This guy=the ultimate coolest! I would truly love to follow in his footsteps in the way he has used his creativity and artistic talent in the fashion world. He is also down to earth and real, every time something weird or fake happened when I wanted to bust out laughing but I held it in; he would just laugh! What a cool guy, I seriously respect him and his talent!

He might be my favorite. Sorry everyone else!

OK OK, back to the inspiration boards. Inspiration Boards?! I love the sound of that! Diane proceeded to tell us this collection we would be inspiring would be themed around Côte d’Azur- or in other words: South of France and the French Riviera. She went on to say it should be inspired heavily by Matisse, and color. Alright, this little fine art student could work with that! I didn’t know a whole lot about Côte d’Azur; but I did know a whole lot about Matisse, color, and pattern! I was excited to get back so I could start researching Southern France. I also knew quite a bit about creating inspiration boards, this was pretty dang similar to what I do every day for school! I was pumped, and confident, were all of the challenges going to be this great? The cameras then went off and Lenore and I were told we were going to go film our part first; so the other girls and crew headed back to the hotel. They took my board with them and it mysteriously “disappeared” into thin air later that night when I was done filming…hmm. So I went out in the wee hours of the morning after our day was done and secretly bought myself TWO boards just in case something went mysteriously awry again.

It was a rough night for me. It was really hard for me to just take all of these weird situations that seemed so not real and pretend I didn’t see right through it. Was all of this drama real? No, it so wasn’t. Did my board really just poof away into oblivion? No I don’t think so. I felt like Katniss! Like stupid President Snow was trying to fool me and I was like “I know what you’re doing, Peeta and I are going to eat the berries.. we will do it I swear..!!”

That same night as I was on my way back up to my hotel room with some of the girls the elevator opened, and a man reached his hand through just before it closed. He grabbed my hand and I looked up surprised. It was one of the hotel workers, Omar. He said “It’s my best friend!” with a big smile on his face. ” I’m sorry girls, but I hope she wins! She has been so nice to me the whole time she has been here, she is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. She is my best friend!” and then the elevator doors shut and I stood there feeling a lot better than when I first stepped in that elevator . That was one of the moments where I thought if that is all I came here to do then I am happy with that. As corny as it may sound I do believe that is our purpose in this life- to be kind and make others feel loved and valued. There is a bigger purpose for us than to just live and die, this life is a test.

So the next day we headed over to the studio to put together outfits for the look book! And wow the studio was amazing. We got divided into teams- Amanda, Lenore, Brittany and I. Then Kier, Abs, Jinna and Tiff. Honestly, this challenge was super simple. Is it really so hard to pick out outfits? No. Does it look like it was after some serious editing? Yes. Did they make it look like I did absolutely nothing? Yes. Did they re-shoot that whole clip of them judging our looks? Yes. Oh goodness the whole thing had me so confused. Not the actual challenge but whatever the heck they were trying to play out on the production side. I think I had a confused face on the entire time. I honestly wanted to laugh out loud! Both of our teams did great, and I think the teamwork was awesome. And of course I wasn’t going to make all of the decisions for our group..there was four of us, not one.

All in all, we did awesome and our group won! Sawweeet! So we had to opportunity to go to the actual look book shoot. Unreal. What a neat opportunity. Especially as a photographer I ate that whole thing right up! Just being able to be on set of a professional photo shoot for DVF, sooo cool! Then they “dropped the bomb” that the inspiration boards were due in an hour. Good thing I ran to the store in the middle of the night and got a new board! Two boards at that just for good measure.

The first board I made I went out on the streets and asked women what the first thing that comes to mind when they hear the word “beautiful” is. And I took a photo of each of them and wrote their word under their photo. It was so neat. Almost everyone said something about inner beauty, or people they love. It really was so cool to hear. This board didn’t get shown on TV, I don’t even know if Diane got to see it, one of the producers took it from me and said we’d get it to Diane later.

So I went back to the hotel and put my photos on my boards. I was so rushed I didn’t think to take a photo of it, how dumb am I?? So here is my remake of it!

Side one.

Side two.

The concept behind my board started when Diane said she wanted it to be inspired by Matisse. I have always been intrigued most by Matisse’s portraits. The Girl With Green Eyes popped into my head for some reason so I went with it. The rule with the boards was we were to use one of Diane’s personal photos on it somewhere. I chose a photo of tangled blue fishing nets (I found a similar photo above on side two of my board). I chose this particular photo because if you were standing close to it could could see all of the fine detail in the netting, but if you stepped back or unfocused your eyes the negative space and big shapes came forward. It was all in how you focused. Same goes for Matisse- I have found that there are typically many things to focus on in his paintings- so you must choose where or what to focus on. His color palette is also very saturated and I wanted to convey this on my board.

Matisse

The Girl With Green Eyes

When I brought out my board everyone just stared at it for quite some time, and there was an awkward silence in the room. I didn’t understand what was going on. Michael then spoke up “This is the best board.” more silence… Diane stomped her foot a couple of times. There was some more strange shifting around of people and the crew. The cameras went off for a bit and Diane Michael Stefani and Jessica spoke to me about my photography complementing it. Diane said ” I would like a copy of these to hang in my office!” Um, OK Diane as you wish!! So cool! Michael loved my board and I was incredibly happy they liked my concept and felt it inspired them. But why was there a weird tension in the room? At one point Diane said “This is not fair!” I just thought.. what’s not fair?? I wasn’t catching on.

Ultimately my board was picked as one of the best! I was thrilled! It was then that Diane left the room and then came back and said it was time for someone to go home. What? We were all told we would all be here for a month and a half.. not two days! I thought I was safe- My group won the first challenge and my board won the second challenge. I hadn’t been told to do anything differently, or caused any drama. I had done all of the jobs I was given. I had stayed true to myself, and hadn’t talked bad about a single person. I had been on time to everything, hadn’t been told to change my clothes. Why would I be sent home?

Then my name was called to go upstairs with Abs and Lenore.

I honestly felt just.. peace. I wasn’t worried, I knew whatever was supposed to happen would happen. And then Diane kindly told me in so many words “You are such a sweet girl and amazing photographer, that is what you need to be doing is your photography.” And she gave me a goody bag and sent me on my way.

I honestly was not sad. I felt like it was right, I did my very best and just maybe I wasn’t cut out for “Reality” TV. I had learned SO much. I got to experience so many things I had never dreamed of experiencing! I got to meet so many amazing and inspiring people who will now always be a part of my life. I couldn’t be ungrateful. I was just being directed onto my next big journey and I had faith it was the right path and everything was going to be better than OK! But it was hard saying goodbye to the girls, especially because I was expecting to be spending the next month with them. I can’t tell you how much I love them all!

I don’t think they were very sad I was leaving hahaha they were probably just happy it wasn’t them!

So off I went back to Utah. Ultimately I know God’s timing was perfect. If I hadn’t have come home right then, I wouldn’t have been able to spend the last couple of weeks with my Grandpa before he passed away. I also wouldn’t have had the courage to stand up for myself in my unhealthy marriage. My next posts will be on those two topics, and the very pivotal few months I went through and how much I was blessed.

Something that has been tough for me to learn in life is how to take rejections in stride. I always saw them as a door closing, or a negative statement of my value or worth. At times, they are. There will be times in everyone’s life when you are “not good enough” for something (or someone thinks you’re not). Or when a door does close for good. But the truth is you are always good enough, it just may be something different than you expected. And there is always another door just waiting for you to open it, so you can set off on the bigger better adventure. Rejections truly aren’t rejections. They are merely the gateway through which we must travel to learn and to grow. They are actually one of the most beautiful things in this life. And they are God’s way of saying ” I love you, so I have a better plan for you.”

Now I welcome these “rejections” with open arms. Yeah, they still sting. And yes, they will always be difficult. But I’ve learned too much to ever go back to thinking they are not for the best, and I haven’t become a better woman because of them.

I know the woman I want to be, and I am well on my way to being exactly that person.

Diane- thank you. Thank you thank you thank you! What a crazy journey. And what a huge door has opened for me. What amazing people I have met, and what great friends I now have. I’ve become more independent, courageous and happy! My skin is a little thicker (key word, little) and I’m holding my head higher! My wardrobe is a bit more refined, and I’ve got more patience. My testimony in the gospel of Jesus Christ is stronger, and I am more grateful for the people and things that I have right now. Hopefully I’ve impacted others on my way and brightened someone’s life, at least just a little bit. That is truly what I wanted to do.

So now my question for you, reader, is:

What are you focusing on?

Love, Codi

House of DVF: Fashion 101 aka Tears Are Power

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What is my life? What is going on?!

One minute I am just a regular college student in Utah and the next I am on a plane heading to New York City for my first time ever. And to compete for a chance to be Diane Von Furstenberg’s Brand Ambassador! I think maybe this is a prank, OK Ashton, you can come out now! I know this is a joke…!

I step out of the plane and see a man standing with a sign with my name written on it.. WHAT! Best day ever, this is just like in the movies! I feel like I need to be jumping around and screaming with my girl friends.. turns out you look kind of crazy when you jump around and scream all by yourself in an airport..

So I am in New York.. what am I supposed to do in New York again? Oh yes.. eat pizza!

I promise I didn’t apply for this opportunity just for the pizza…

So a cab picks me up and I may or may not have been instructed to show the world just how excited/scared I was to be in the Big Apple! “Wow..New York is beautiful….! Look, that pile of trash is even taller than the one a couple of blocks back! Beautiful, just beautiful. In fact I will take a photo of it to hang in my bedroom.”

I could build a good sized cabin on this pile, who needs the Utah mountains when you have this grandeur?!

So my cab pulls up to the Gansevoort Hotel, located in the Meatpacking District. Wow.. I could not afford to stay here on a regular occasion. You would most likely find me at some cheap motel 30 miles away if I were to come to NYC on vacation. Then I was told to meet at a restaurant/bar across the street later that night. Am I going to meet the other applicants? I am not excited to be here at ALL!

I never knew how to pronounce “Gansevoort” so I just opted to say it with a Dracula accent every time. Probably accurate.. right?

I walk down the stairs in the fancy restaurant and keep my eyes peeled for other girls who may look just as dazed and confused as I am. Well.. I spot three gorgeous, put together girls sitting by the bar. I meet Amanda, Coco, and Rhianna. Throughout the night Brittany, Tiffani, Jinna, Lenore, Abs, and Kier join us. Wow, I sure felt out of my element! 1. We are at a bar, I don’t drink! 2. Cameras? 3. What is happening?! Soon two beautiful women (Stefani Greenfield and Jessica Joffe) walk down the stairs and all ten of us immediately know we are supposed to be scared or nervous or some other emotion like that. We are told that there is only room in the program for 8 of us, so by the end of the week two of us will be sent home.. what, OK thank you for that information! I am not nervous at all. Hold on, I need to run to the bathroom real quick.

The night ended and us girls got together in our hotel rooms and chatted a bit more. These girls were really starting to grow on me! How cool was it that we were all brought together for such an insanely awesome opportunity!

The next day we were told to meet at the DVF headquarters. No big deal. This building doesn’t look like heaven at all.

It is even fully equipped with a stairway to Heaven.

We were then told we would be working the DVF Awards at the UN.

No.

Best day ever!!

I got assigned to greet guests and help them find their seats. Seriously I don’t think I could have been assigned a better job, I got to meet and talk to fantastic people; all while wearing a gorgeous Spring 2014 DVF dress!

When we arrived at the UN I don’t think any of us could speak for a while while we took it all in. Once the Awards started we had the opportunity to stand and watch! I am not going to lie-I cried like a baby.

I was not expecting this to be half as inspirational as is was. I honestly expected it to be a bunch of wealthy, stuck up people getting awards. Yes that was probably quite dumb of me to think, but I had never experienced an event like this! Nonetheless filled with celebrities.

On the first episode of House of DVF they didn’t show clips of all of the speakers, but in my opinion Veronika Scott (founder and CEO of The Empowerment Plan) rocked it.

Veronika’s Organization gives homeless women jobs creating coats/sleeping bags for homeless people. So they can earn money and gain back their independence.

She was so inspiring, genuine and real! She is the speaker who brought me to tears. It proved to me there are good, humble people and causes out there doing big things not for themselves but for people in need. It really hit home with me because as a Mormon, I believe that EVERY single person on this earth is so special. We are each children of God and should always be treated as such; no matter our status, color, or gender. Veronika’s message was just that- that we all need to lift up those around us, no matter what situation or walk of life they are in. I highly recommend checking out Veronika Scott and The Empowerment Plan. As well as the other Honorees and their organizations: Gloria Steinem, Alicia Keys, Kah Walla, Liron Peleg-Hadomi and Noha Khatieb.

After the awards we were about to head back to the hotel when Rhianna disappeared. We found her in the bathroom, and she was feeling sick, maybe had an anxiety attack. She has been receiving a lot of rude comments for this, and I would like to remind viewers that we are all human! And that not even close to everything that went on during our time in the program was shown. I had the opportunity to talk with Rhianna the next day and I could totally relate. I have had a few panic/anxiety attacks in my life and they are not something to joke about or make fun of someone for. Especially if you are a fan of DVF and empowering women.. you would not talk bad about Rhianna. Tsk tsk people…

The awards were such a surreal and moving experience, I don’t think it is something any of us will ever forget!

After the awards in my DVF dress.

The next day was the day we got to meet Diane. I don’t think any of us really thought we would ever get the opportunity! She is such a classy, genuine and real woman. She made us all feel instantly at ease. Diane and her team went over our jobs with us, and critiqued how well we each performed our respective duties. They also critiqued our clothing choices for the event. I was pleasantly surprised when I was complimented for my choice of dress for the event, and how I wore a shirt under it to make it more modest to fit my beliefs. You CAN uphold your values and still follow your dreams!

Next we each got sent upstairs one by one to have individual interviews with Diane. She talked with us about personal things such as our upbringings to more factual things such as our experience working the DVF Awards. It was pretty funny to me while we were all downstairs waiting for our turn to talk with Diane, we were all having a sob fest on the couch. We had all grown very close and each experience we had together had been quite emotional.. in a good way! All of us had gone through different trials and pain in life, and it was so neat how we all came together through this program and were able to connect on such a deep level. These girls are all INCREDIBLE. I wish our conversation on that couch would have been shown on TV, I really do. Speaking of things I wish would have been shown…

LOL

It would have been nice if this statement was put into it’s correct context haha! But what can you do? Nothing.. except sit back and laugh at myself! I have always wanted to have an embarrassing meme made of myself, so hurray! One bucket list item checked off.

In all seriousness, my individual interview with Diane went very well. She first asked me about my family- who I called after the awards and why I called them particularly. I told her I first called my husband, because I shared everything that happened in my life with him, we were a team. Next I called my mom because she is the person who taught me about love, and the importance of each person; so I wanted to tell her how the awards were all focused on just that! Diane also asked me about my beliefs, and why I cry; she asked why I was sad. I told her I wasn’t sad, I cry when I feel something strong.. when something inspires me. It wasn’t a sad cry, it was a happy cry! Haha I am guessing this is where the “tears are power” line came from. Yes, I cringe I even said that in any context, but I do think embracing your emotions is a good thing. I found a quote that perhaps says what I was getting at much more eloquently.

Why thanks Mr. Irving, beautifully said!

I don’t think anyone should ever be afraid to cry. Maybe I should have been a little more afraid since I was on National Television.. but to everyone else, don’t you be afraid, you hear?!

Once we all had our interviews Rhianna and Coco soon came down the stairs each carrying a bag, they were going home. It was such a pleasure to meet these two women, they each have skill sets and talents I only wish I had!

Coco was always pleasant to be around… and was so proper in the way she talked and presented herself! She held the title of Miss Calabasas, and is a very successful model. Coco also had a very rough upbringing and past. She decided to take her life by the reigns a few years ago and rewrite her story with confidence, knowing the woman she wanted to be! I seriously look up to her bravery and go-getter attitude. She will do great things, I am thrilled to see where she goes!

But seriously? Look at this girl!

Now to miss Rhianna. When I first met Rhianna I didn’t think she liked me! The first comment she made to me was about how I was wearing fake fur, and if I knew more about fashion I would wear real fur. I was like.. OK! I know nothing alright! As time went on I got to know Rhianna quite well. She is so.. refined! She just knows SO much about the fashion industry already. She has even written a book! Parisienne French:Chic Phrases Slang & Style soooo I mean, go girl!! Before Rhianna went home she called me and wanted to come say goodbye. She came to my hotel room and we talked and laughed for a while. I was truly surprised how our friendship came about, and how much I related to and looked up to her. She is truly a talented and special woman!

Not the best photo of us, but hey we look happy at least!

Rhianna texted this to me a bit later:

“You are a truly genuine girl with integrity, passion and creativity. Some people are born to be on tabloid covers. Those like you and I will make our mark through a more glamorous and diplomatic path :)”

Love her. I hope her words are right! I am so grateful for her friendship.

So guys.. that was it. It was the 8 of us in the “Program”, Me and 7 insanely talented and inspiring women.

We were all elated and decided we needed a photo after Diane congratulated us and welcomed us to the DVF family.

So here is our high quality cellphone photo. How surreal.

So there is is.. my experience through the first episode of House of DVF! Have I said the word “grateful” enough in this post yet? I don’t think so. I am so GRATEFUL! To Diane- for this unreal opportunity. I never dreamed of having an experience of this magnitude in my life. I still can’t remember what I ever did to get so lucky! I am so grateful for all of the 9 women who participated in the first episode. Every single one of them teaches me something new each day! I am in awe over their accomplishments. Can’t wait to see where we each go from here. Can. Not. Wait!!

Thanks for reading!

Love, Codi

P.S…..

LOL

Just a little ☮ of me.

11 Replies

Well here goes nothing… hi world!

I’ d like to start my blog off introducing myself, duh. I’ve always felt like I am not good at writing “About Me’s”.. does anyone else think they are so difficult to write? I guess I will start at the day I was born…

When I was born, I was a baby. Crazy right?! My cute little family lived in San Diego and I just so happened to be the only fat, white, practically bald baby in the hospital. My mom says her postpartum got very bad when she saw the giant group of Latinos pointing and laughing at me through the glass of the nursery. I would have been laughing right along with at them, I mean… look at me!

Shoot.. I think this is the wrong photo!

Anyway.. We only spent a couple years in good old San Diego while my dad worked. Then we moved to Murray, Utah (best city in the world, or so I’ve heard)

I was not a typical little girl. I much preferred digging around in the dirt and collecting bugs over playing with dolls. My poor mother had to excavate carefully placed Tupperware filled with old grass, water and dying bugs from my bedroom on a weekly basis. But don’t get me wrong.. I did have a Barbie or two..

“Mom, will you take a picture of me and my friends?”

If you were to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I’d respond “a vet, artist, soccer player, hairdresser” every time. I soon realized my dreams of being a vet wouldn’t come true as I was not partial to seeing blood, guts, or hurt animals. What a wuss.

Tried my hand at soccer.. or foot I guess I should say. Yes. I still play and LOVE soccer, but am I a pro? Definitely not.

My mom is a hairdresser and naturally I’ve always wanted to be just like her.. but after working at a beauty supply I soon decided it was not the route for me.

Now artist.. I think I was on to something with that one. Ever since I was a tiny squirt I loved art, and excelled at it. It was always my favorite subject in school. I’d also be caught in the act of making dumb videos on our video camera and snapping embarrassing selfies on a regular basis. Cameras intrigued me. Just the fact I could save a moment with the click of a button.

I’d like to think this was my very first self portrait. It’s artsier because I am nude of course.

Over the years my family has had countless laughs from the embarrassing amount of photos and video I felt the need to take. I’m glad I could provide them with such happiness though because they happen to be the most special people in my life. My parents are my heroes, and my best friends. I don’t think I could ever express to them how much I love and appreciate them. If you know them, I think you’d agree.

Mom and Dad on their wedding day.

I had the pleasure of growing up as the middle child. I don’t have middle child syndrome at ALL. I don’t ever feel the need to be a perfectionist so people notice me. Never. I’ve never felt the need to be on a Reality TV show someday so someone will just look at me! I have the best big sister in the world who has always been there to stick up for me, or even speak for me when she felt the need. We were always connected at the hip growing up, I wanted to be just like Kylee!

Told you, connected at the hip.

When my baby brother was born I soon realized what it felt like to be worried about someone’s well being and happiness every second of the day. I would do anything for my brudder. Anyone would, Dalton is just too dang sweet not to! Hands down Best brother anyone could ever have.

Tell us we are cute!

We are a very close and loving family, and always have been. We were raised as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. What does that mean? Click here!

I will be writing more posts on my beliefs so please, stay tuned. I truly wouldn’t be who I am or where I am in life without the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful to know families can be together forever, I don’t honestly know how I would get through life without this knowledge.

Family photo courtesy of tripod and self timer.

Not only am I lucky enough to have the greatest family in the world, I’ve also gone through life with the greatest set of friends. Each one of these girls has impacted my life is such a big way, I have no doubt we will be friends til we are old and saggy. We can typically be found filming stupid music videos in ugly costumes, or fake laughing to get a quality picture like this:

Fake laughers.

I graduated high school with all of these chums. Soon after I started my quest for love. Or maybe love started it’s quest for me.. that sounds more accurate. This quest involved mainly boys and photography. I started college and soon decided I was going to Art School. Because why not.. I loved photography! Soon after I met a boy and fell in love with him. We got engaged, and we got married. Happily Ever After! That’s how it goes right? Sometimes.

I was married for two and a half years. I cannot tell you how much I grew in this time and how much I learned. I also cannot say how hard going through divorce was. I don’t think anyone gets married thinking they will someday get divorced. I believe marriage is the most sacred and special union on this earth, it is eternal; I planned on spending forever with him. I learned there are circumstances though when divorce is OK. You should never give up your happiness or values to be a lesser version of yourself. It was a very trying time for me, and the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. But I know it was the right choice, God carried me through the whole thing. I can’t wait for the day I find my future husband.. he’s out there somewhere!

Strangely enough one of the biggest stepping stones to my divorce was my adventure on the House of DVF. One day I saw an ad on Facebook saying Diane Von Furstenberg was looking for a brand Ambassador. I thought, “Eh, they would never pick a little married, Mormon fine art student.. but I might as well try.” Well.. shish got real fast. Before I knew it I was on a plane heading to New York City. Ultimately this journey gave me the confidence and bravery I didn’t know I was lacking.

Every single one of these women inspire me.

So this is where I am today. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a weird girl on Reality TV, a photographer, a Mormon, a fashion lover, an artist. A lover of life! I truly am. I’ve come to love myself and my own unique journey. I’ve started finding myself and finding what truly fuels me and betters me. I know where my strengths lie and I know the kind of woman I want to be. I’m here to learn and grow and help others in the process, I can’t wait to use my talents and abilities to do so throughout the rest of my life!

Make sure to check back tomorrow night for my next post after the Premiere of House of DVF on E! 10/9c

I will be talking about some of the great experiences I had during my first week in NYC!

Love, Codi

i am codi

life, art, & fashion

Goodbye 2014!

The things that matter most.

Do what you love!

“There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.”

Grandpa’s Shop

Not Too Shabby

House of DVF Episode 2- Goodbye NY!

House of DVF: Fashion 101 aka Tears Are Power

Just a little ☮ of me.