Category Archives: fashion

I think spring has sprung!

Hey peeps!

Get it? I’m calling all of you peeps because it is the day after Easter and you probably have a bunch of peeps sitting around going stale. Maybe you should just throw them away because we all know you’re not going to eat them!

I originally planned on posting this on Easter, but a few computer problems later and here it is- a day late.

Yesterday was not only Easter but it was also LDS General Conference. It’s a day that happens twice a year where LDS leaders and members gather for two days to give and hear talks. These talks range from church news and announcements to gospel doctrine stories and testimonies of Jesus Christ.

I love when General Conference falls on Easter because ultimately Christ is the whole purpose of Conference, He is our cornerstone and the ultimate example.

Like many other holidays, Easter can get turned from a day to remember Christ, to a day to remember candy, rabbits and colorful eggs. Don’t get me wrong, I quite enjoy Mr. Easter bunny and all of the delicious prizes he brings me. But I know that isn’t what we should be focused on.

Easter symbolizes the day when Christ overcame death and was resurrected. He gave his life and died for each one of us, and then overcame it all and rose again. I couldn’t be more grateful for His sacrifice and example. It helps remind me that we are not just here on earth to get rich or famous. We are here for a greater purpose- to learn, grow and get back to live with God again. We can only do this because of Jesus Christ.

I know there are people out there who don’t share the same beliefs I do. But I think it can do nothing but strengthen someone to try to live a kind, selfless life like Christ did. And the message of Easter- of hope, resurrection and new beginnings can apply to us all. We all go through trials and hardships; there isn’t anyone who is spared from occasional grief and heartache. But on the other hand, everyone also experiences at least a moment of happiness, love or success. We should all remember the message of Easter every day of the year. That there are great things to live for, and there are always new beginnings, fresh starts and happy times ahead.

So ultimately I’m not too upset I couldn’t post this yesterday on Easter, because everyday should be like Easter, really!

Along with it being Easter, it’s also spring. Waaahoooo! I’ve missed the sun, colorful plants, flowers and clothes. I hope I don’t jinx it though, living in Utah means it could start snowing tomorrow for all I know. It better not!

Here’s a little spring outfit I put together. I found this PrettyGuide jumpsuit while I was thrifting last week, and paired it with my favorite DVF sequin jacket. I mean, really… Best jacket in the world! My shoes were also a thrift find last year. I have a bit of an addiction… I might just end up completely turning my blog into a thrift site. Maybe I’ll change it from iamcodi to iamsavers or iamgoodwill. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind me using their name right?

So there you go, some springy stuffs.

So I know I haven’t been posting much lately and for that I am sorry! But also not sorry because I’ve been focusing on school, plus there are fun things coming after I graduate! Three weeks left, people. Then my trillion years of college will be completed. Someone please pat me on my sequined back! Thank you.

With Easter on the mind I thought it might also be appropriate to post my second part to my Loss Series. This is my Senior Portfolio Project, which for some reason I chose to make a photographic movie instead of do actual photos. I’m still sort of confused why I did this.. so don’t ask me why! But this video is Part Two out of three. (You can watch Part One here) It comments on loss, particularly the type of loss that we can’t control such as death, relationships, memories, etc. I started this project after my divorce and the passing of my grandpa when my life was in the middle of many big changes- I had lost a lot of people. I know everyone relates, because everyone goes through change, and change is a direct result of losing something.

My final video will be shown in addition to the two I have posted here in my Senior Exhibition. If you are interested in seeing them they will be displayed on the second floor the Marriot Library on Thursday, April 16th from 9am-2pm in study room 2103. If you’re up on the University of Utah campus for some reason stop in and see!

Thanks for reading guys! I’ll be posting a couple more posts before I graduate, and in a few weeks I’ll be really focusing on this little blog of mine! So keep checking back.. only if you want to of course.

Happy belated Easter! Happy spring!!

Codi

I am still here! Let’s talk collaborations…

Simplify

7 Replies

Why hello there!

This might be a rather quick post. It’s been quite the week, my first week of school, plus I am leaving on a cruise tonight! Wahoooo! My pasty white skin needs the sun!

Tuesday as I was getting ready for class, I stopped and realized it was my last first day of school ever! At first I started jumping around in excitement. Then I realized… holy crap.. this means I have to be a big kid now! I will have to have a big kid job, stop wearing diapers, stop eating baby food, and learn how to walk.. no more stroller rides for me. So then after I realized all this I was kind of worried! This is a big deal, I really have to start gearing down and figuring out what it is I want to do. For the past 3 years I was sure I wanted to just freelance with my photography. But this past year I’ve started rethinking this.. so many other things have happened or come into my life and there are many paths I could take with my career.

Where to go?!

We all come to many forks in the road in life like this where we will have to consider our different options. It’s crucial of course to have a grasp of what your talents and skill sets are. But the other important part is to think about how much you sincerely enjoy whatever it is you are going to do. For me, I have spent years studying fine art, digital media, and photography. I have also studied and immersed myself in fashion and a bit into design. I’ve learned what I love, and what I loathe ENTIRELY (meant to be read in the Grinch voice). For example.. I have shot multiple weddings, family photo sessions etc, and do I like to do them? No. Do they pay? Yes! Whereas when I come up with a concept and shoot an artistic idea of my own, with my models props etc picked out, I LOVE doing this! Do these shoots pay? They have the potential to, it would just take more time and determination on my part. Which.. I will have more of once I am graduated! So we will see where I will go, but for now I will focus super hard on my school work and my senior portfolio. I’ve found whenever I put all I’ve got into a project or job I always get so much out of it. I’m very grateful that these past few years of school I have really pushed myself and put so much time and energy into my schooling. Not only did my techniques improve, but my concepts became stronger and I grew a backbone! I also learned some new techniques and processes that I never would have known I enjoyed had I not went out of my comfort zone and tried them.

I’m looking forward to my next chapter in life, where I will be able to use all of the things I learned in school out in the “real world”. I am determined to focus my time and energy on each project I take on, I know this always results in success! So for now, blogging is one thing I’ve been focusing on, and I will continue to!

With that being said.. here are the photos I took today! Since I am leaving to the Caribbean tonight.. and want to look semi-tan I thought I would wear one of my favorite white DVF dresses. This is the perfect dress if you want to keep things simple, I think it is also magic because it makes bums look good haha. You can never go wrong with a solid monotone dress, it is easy to pair with just about anything or just wear on it’s own. I chose to just wear it plain, with some blue Kate Spade earrings for a pop of color. And did my hair a little wavy, because why not!

Dress: Diane von Furstenberg

Earrings: Kate Spade

One thing that has been on my mind quite a bit lately is blogging. I enjoy it, but not as much as I originally thought I would. This week I realized that maybe it is not blogging itself, but they way I am doing it that I don’t enjoy so much. As you know, for my posts I photograph myself in different outfits etc. Though I enjoy this.. what I truly love is photographing other people, with a more artistic twist other than them just standing in front of the camera. The next few months I will be working much more of this into my posts, and including more of my artwork into my blog posts.

As I was racking my brain about blogging and why I didn’t particularly love it one girl kept coming to mind; Kier.

I for one liked her bow. I am bummed this photo isn’t in focus!

When I first met Kier I was intimidated by her! I was like holy cow.. could one woman be any more gorgeous and confident? Then as I got to know her I learned a lot more about her, like how she is not only beautiful and confident, but also so so driven. She runs her own fashion blog and is always so on top of things! She knows exactly what she loves to blog about and how to do it so it is enjoyable for her and her viewers. Her drive carried through to our experience on House of DVF. I was always very impressed by her strength and go-getter attitude. If she doesn’t like something, she says so, if she wants something she goes for it!

Kier was also like an older sister to me. I felt like she had my back, and knew I could talk to her about anything. This might seem strange because she has such a strong personality, but I really connected with her. When started going through my divorce Kier was one of the first girls who I opened up to about it, and she was so sweet and really cared about me and my happiness. She also was always very respectful of me and my beliefs, and truly understood me as a person. I have so much respect for her and am so glad I now have such a strong friend! I am also so proud of how much she grew and learned on House of DVF. I know we all did, but I saw it the most in her.

She also probably received the most negativity from House of DVF viewers. I think she brushed it all off like a champ and realized that people who continually tear others down do it because they themselves are insecure. Reality tv is actually not reality.. there is SO much that is not shown and people can be made to look any way. And I know who Kier is, and everyone who doesn’t should go follow her blog and learn more about her and her true character! She is strong, a great friend, a go-getter, and know what she wants.

Like Kier, I want to learn to really go for what I want, and let go of what is not good for me. I am slowly learning this but I know as I graduate and move to a new chapter of my life, I need even more drive to go for what I want. And I know this process involves choosing to lose things that aren’t meant for me.

Starting today I thought I would include one of my photographic films, which is part one of my senior portfolio. This film is commenting on loss, particularly the things we have to choose to let go of. This may include relationships, habits, objects, jobs, opportunities etc. Loss is something we can all relate to and will all have to experience at many times in life.

This is a fine art film, so it is the sort of film you would see playing in a museum. It’s just important to keep that in mind.. or otherwise you may think it’s just really weird haha that’s often what art is… weird. Enjoy!

Well, I’m off to the Caribbean now! Guarantee I’ll get a sunburn, it ‘s a talent I have. Til next time!

Codi

Goodbye 2014!

1 Reply

Happy New Years!

Only a few days late.

I can safely say I have never valued a new year as much as I do this time around, 2014 was easily the hardest year of my life. It was just chock-full of change… and I don’t particularly enjoy change.

It ranged from heartbreak, death and losing people I loved- to family members, new friendships and incredible learning experiences. Though it was hard and I am still wondering how I survived with half of my sanity (ok ok.. maybe a fourth of my sanity) I wouldn’t have had it play out any other way.

As crazy events dragged me uuuuppp and ddoooowwnn the most wild emotional roller coaster, I learned more than I ever thought I could. It sounds super cheesy to say it all helped me find myself.. but it did. It also showed me that I will never fully “find myself” not til the day comes where I am old wrinkled and ready to head up the big white staircase. And no, silly, I’m not talking about the stairs in the DVF building. Though… maybe the stairway to heaven does look pretty similar.

Life is for learning, and we will each be learning until the day we die. I couldn’t be more grateful for all of the experiences- yucky and wonderful- that have brought me to the point I am at today. All it shows me is that God loves me and knows where I need to go, He knows a whole lot better than I do.

There have been two words on my mind A LOT since 2014 started coming to an end.

Talents and Trials.

These are two things that every single one of us has, and we can choose what we do with them and how we handle them. I also believe that they are two of the biggest character builders depending on how we utilize them.

This past year many of the exciting opportunities I had were because I decided to use some of my talents in different ways. I think at times it gets easy to not venture out of your comfort zone in fear of failure. But how will you ever grow if you aren’t allowing yourself to?

Not only did I have many exciting and fun opportunities from utilizing my talents; but I was able to reach out to people I never would have been able to otherwise. I made amazing friends and was able to bless their lives- even if just in the smallest way- because I didn’t hide my talents and abilities. If you think that you have a talent or gift that is unimportant or useless- think again! You weren’t made that way for nothing, so really consider what you can do to utilize it and to touch others lives for the better. For example.. if for some reason you are just so good at cleaning toilets, I have four! You would make me so happy if you came over and used your great ability! See, so worth it.

But in all seriousness- my whole life I had really been intrigued by fashion and beauty. And the last few years I have really enjoyed it and thrived in the artistic side of it. For a very long time I thought that I was prideful for enjoying fashion.. it must mean I’m a bad person or something! So.. I didn’t really do anything about it. Til the House of DVF casting started and I decided to apply on a whim, not thinking it would go anywhere. Well.. it went somewhere. Maybe not exactly where I thought it would go, but I can tell you that I can’t imagine where my life would be had I not tried to follow through with that talent of mine. However dumb, or bad I thought it was, I was so greatly blessed. I still can’t believe where my life has taken me since then.

I can also tell you that from using my talents.. a whole slew of trials tagged along. At first I was bitter about this. Why me? I won’t survive this. What do I even do?? It just didn’t make sense. And honestly it never would have made any sense had I not turned completely to God to get me through it all. It is funny to me that God is the not only the one who gets you out of trials.. but He is the one who gets you into them. There was a point in my life where I felt like maybe God didn’t love me and that was why he wanted to give me a hard time. But I soon came to realize that it was because He loved me that He gave me afflictions. He didn’t want me to stay where I was, because He knew I had the potential to learn, grow and become a better me. Now as I look back I also can see that He knew once I passed through my hardships that I would be a much happier girl. I don’t think I have ever been as happy as I am now! And I am so insanely grateful for everything I went through, and still go through. Because I know for a fact that there are always better things ahead.

Look at yourself and your talents and trials. What are you doing with what you’ve been dealt? Are you hiding them away, or are you sharing them? Please share them. It helps people like me know that I am not the only one trying to struggle by, we are all in the same boat. And we all have abilities and experiences we can use to help the people around us.

I’m going to share some of my favorite and not so favorite moments of 2014 with you now in photos. Lets see what I can rummage up.

I made new friendships, and met some amazingly talented people

I strengthened old friendships and had so much fun in the process.

I was able to spend a lot of quality time with my sweet family

I said goodbye to my baby brother for two years

Said goodbye to someone I planned on spending the rest of my life with

And had to say goodbye to my sweet sweet grandpa

Became an aunt to the best nephew in the world

I pretended to be a model

Brandon Cruz Photography

Lauren Lu Photography

Jordan Carli Photography for Jacobs Scarves

Vania Stoyanova Photography

Lauren Zurchin Photography

Also pretended to be on a reality tv show in New York

Made (or tried to make) some new art

Experienced so many beautiful places

Goodness. That was a lot. I doubt anyone enjoyed that or cringed as much as I did. So much good, so much bad. But I can’t help but smile at the beauty of it all and that I got to experience it.

I can’t wait for what 2015 has in store. Bring it on. I’m pretty sure I can handle whatever comes my way this time..I’ll keep my fingers crossed at least!

I know that the things I experienced were unique to me, but I sincerely believe that all of us travel through good and hard times. I also know that everyone has the capacity to learn so very much from whatever they face. I challenge you to embrace your talents gifts and skills this year, and to share your experiences with those around you. Step out of your comfort zone to be a better you, whether it be in your relationships, schooling, work or something completely different! And always keep your head up and remember there are always better things ahead than anything you leave behind.

Here’s to another great year… aahhhh!

Aaannd sorry I didn’t include any new photos and clothes. I decided to save those for my next post, where I will also talk about some things I learned from beautiful Kier from House of DVF.

Thanks for reading/ looking at so many never ending pictures that you probably could care less about!

Buh-bye for now.

Codi

The things that matter most.

3 Replies

Merry Christmas Eve! Or Happy Christmas Eve! Or as my dad would say “Wait, where is Christmas Adam?”

I’m still surprised it is Christmas tomorrow (or today depending when you’re reading this) and there is no snow.. I was just out playing in the sprinklers a few minutes ago. That’s a lie, but still.. I want some snow!

So this week was the Finale of House of DVF. I still can’t believe it is all over! The whole experience changed my life in so many ways. It was one of those pivotal moments that set me on a completely different path than I ever thought I would be on. I know the same goes for all of the other girls, and I am so grateful I had to opportunity to meet them. I am so excited for Brittany! She is going to be one aaammmaaazing Brand Ambassador!

She is perfect.

Also my whole outfit is Shabby Apple!

I’ll be writing about Brit and the finale in a later post! Today I am going to talk about my girl Lenore.

As I got to know the girls, I immediately felt a close bond with Lenore. I don’t know if this was because she is so personable and funny, or because I feel like her relationship with her family is similar to mine. Well, it is probably both reasons! She is also such a sincere and genuine person, she never could say anything rude or condescending about anyone; it is just not in her nature, she really cares about people. And I have a hunch that a big reason she is like this is because of her family.

Whoops my hand is photobombing!

When I met Lenore she mentioned how the first thing she was going to do once we were done filming was call her mom and tell her all about her day- because she is her best friend. I really admired that! I think it is such a rare thing to find people who have such close bonds with family. I know from my experience that a big reason I am who I am is because of my family. And I know that much of Lenore’s fabulous self must be a result of her sweet family as well.

I had to add this picture too because I found it online hahah.

Like Lenore, I’ve gone my whole life with the the greatest best friends in the world- my family! They have always been there for me through thick and thin. We’ve gone through struggles and yucky stuff, but that is what life is for. I could never imagine being without them. I have had people in my life who have tried to diminish my relationship with my family and the people I love. I’ve even put myself in situations where I take my family for granted. Though these things were not fun.. and I was really dumb.. I am glad I experienced them, so now I remember how valuable my loved ones truly are.

The last few months I have been really trying to find myself.. all while trying to date. It’s so strange to be living the single life again, and honestly I am not the best at balancing my priorities. I miss parts of being married.. I miss always having a companion. It’s been a struggle to try and take things slow and relaxed because I want more than anything to find the person I am supposed to end up with. I used to think I was such a patient person.. pppfffftt.. yeah right! It all sort of sucks (sort of = TOTALLY). But yesterday as I was trying to give myself a pep talk I remembered what got me through the horrible process of divorce- my family, and Christ. How dumb could I be? Once the divorce process was over I sort of just fell back into my old habits of trying to do things myself, and not relying so much on Christ. I also started spending tons and tons of time on dates, instead of with my family and close friends. Though this kept me distracted, it didn’t truly make me happy or complete. So I thought- why now, as I am in a tiny slump that doesn’t even compare to the suckiness (yes, it’s a word) of divorce, am I just relying on myself to get by?

I think at one time or another we all believe that we can overcome our trials and hard situations on our own. Or it is the opposite and you lose complete hope in yourself that you will ever get past what you are going through. I’ve experienced both of these. I am not saying that it is impossible to get over barriers on your own, or that there aren’t trials in life that will go on for looooong periods of time. But I do know that whenever I center my life, thoughts and actions around Christ, I am able to overcome anything and am never alone.

I am so grateful that we have Christmas to remind us of our elder brother Jesus Christ. Obviously I needed this reminder- that He lived so we can truly live and find happiness. Life gets busy and distracting, other times we get lazy or get into routines that don’t allow us time to think and study about what truly matters. It is sad that that is how life goes, because we should treat everyday like Christmas. We should always keep our loved ones as close as we do during the holidays. We should always have Christ and his example alive in our hearts and in our actions each day. And we should always have hope that if things are looking down, they will get better if you have your sights set on the right places.

I had the honor of snapping some photos in some cute clothes today. Although it looks like it was a nice warm day in April.. can someone tell Jack Frost we are waiting for him, and if he is any later he can consider himself fired?

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Shirt: Thrifted- Sorry it was a handmade find!

Tights: Merona

Shoes: Vince Camuto (old)

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Coat: Vintage Makoff

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Shirt: Thrifted

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Dress: Trixxi Girl

Tights: Merona

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

Coat: Vintage Makoff

So there you have it. Some cute clothes. I really enjoy the holidays because it is also a prime time to wear pretty things!

But ultimately like I said before, the very best part of the holidays is Christ. Our Older brother, who lived and died for us all so we can learn, grow and find true happiness. Because of Him we have the chance to love and cherish our families, whoever they may be. For some it might be friends and others it might be relatives. But we should all remember who and what really matters. After all, in the end a pretty dress, a cool car, or a buttload of money isn’t going to matter. The relationships we had and the people we loved will be what counts. We should all treat every day of the year as if it were Christmas. And remember that when we let Him in to our lives we are NEVER alone, and can get through anything that comes our way.

Like C.S. Lewis so gracefully said:

“Look for Christ and you will find Him. And with Him, everything else.”

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Codi

Do what you love!

4 Replies

First I’d like to apologize for a couple of things:

1. I’ve dropped the ball. Yes, I am a slow poke and was supposed to write this post a few days ago. But then finals and work happened and I almost keeled over and died. So here I am, late. But still keepin on!

2. I don’t know why I said I’d like to apologize for “a couple of things” because really that is the only thing I am apologizing for…at least at this time.

You can see me right there in the green. It’s really how I feel lately.

First of all. I would like you all to know I just typed out my entire blog post. Only to have my internet freak out.. and it ALL got deleted!! Wow why is everything against me right now? Am I not supposed to be a blogger? Will someone tell me what my future holds?

Ok so hi! Here I go again. As I was saying, I’ve been swamped with homework, finals and work. This past week I thought back to the very moment I registered to go to the University of Utah. In 2010 I was sitting in Moscow, Russia on a very balmy day. Well.. if you consider being so cold that your nose hairs freeze balmy weather, it was extremely balmy. I was Skyping with my parents as they helped me get my photos together to put into a portfolio to take up to the U. I remember feeling SO stressed (probably similar to how I just felt when my whole post got deleted..) I just had so many worries on my mind. “Well I probably shouldn’t major in Fine Art.. that won’t make me enough money.. I need to do something that will be harder for me.” and “The program takes four whole years to complete? I am going to be 198 years old when I graduate, my children and my children’s children will be there to see me get my diploma, and then they will fly home in their hover car.” But ultimately I gave my parents the green light to take my portfolio to the school.. I was going to do what I loved.

As I’ve gone through the process of finding what I love to do, it’s been important for me to learn as much as I possibly can. I’ve always felt that education is such an important thing. Over the years I have had so many people ask me why I would go to school for fine art. “You already have a nice camera, and why waste money on going to school when you are already good at it?” This bothered me so much. Yes, school is expensive, and yes there are many things you can learn on your own outside of a classroom. But I wouldn’t take back a moment of my schooling. There are so many things that I couldn’t have learned any other way than through my college experience.

I had reservations about studying something that had a reputation of producing a bunch of poor, starving hipsters.. I was seriously torn; I thought I should just study something that could make me rich, and make me sound one million many more smarter. But I knew that the Fine Art program was right for me; and I was going to do my very best and work my butt off. I think this decision was one of the most important I’ve ever made. I have learned so much through my college experience, and it had effected my life in so many ways since the very first day. I know that I was given my talents and gifts for a reason. I am a huge advocate of doing what you love, and growing your talents to their greatest extent. When you do this, doors will open; you will meet people you couldn’t have any other way, and you will be directed down an awesome path made specifically for you.

Shortly after I started my artistic journey, my two sweet children came into my world; aka my laptop and my camera. Since they are so near and dear to me it’s always been important to keep them safe; I have had some really beautiful laptop bags over the years. At one point I carried my laptop around in a bag that looked like a giant diaper and said something like “Orthopedic Surgery” on it. Lets just make it very clear I have always been so very stylish!

Before I went to New York I stumbled upon a shop called Fullgive here in Salt Lake. I was immediately super impressed by the quality and originality of their handmade leather goods! Scott from Fullgive made a custom laptop bag before I set out on my House of DVF journey, and I can safely say I have never been so in love with a bag!

Bag: Fullgive

Dress: Trixxi

Scarf: Unknown brand, found similar here

Leggings: Similar found here

Shoes: Not Rated (old)

It sure means a lot to me to be able to do what I love. And I don’t think anyone fully understand how important my laptop is to me. It holds all of my school work, photo work and… life! It sure is nice to have a rad bag that reminds me of how lucky I am to be able to do what I love.

So I know I am behind- but I’d like to tie my girl Abs from House of DVF into this post. When I think of going for what you love I think of this girl. She is such a go getter- and has come such a long way in her life and career already. She has such a diverse range of talents- from design, to acting.. but my favorite quality about her is her amazing sense of humor. I’m pretty dang sure that she made me laugh more than anyone else did from House of DVF. I don’t get how she does it, but she is just so funny!

Babe status.

I am also so thrilled to see where she goes with her career. When we were back in New York shooting promo shots, Abs told me that she was getting her reels together to get more into her acting career. I know she will be so successful! I couldn’t act to save my life! She has also designed some freaking amazing clothes.. that I would be happy to take off her hands if she ever needed to get rid of them for some mysterious reason.

Seriously though? Ok.. coolest skirt ever!

I could go on and on. Her hair- yes. I was always jealous, she always looks like a model. Also she wraps turbans like a champ.. refer back to episode one of House of DVF and you can see her work her magic on Tiff and I.. haha! I could not pull that turban off like she can.. no way! So basically I just think she is amazing. And ultimately am super impressed by her go getter attitude and confidence; she will go so far. Just look at what she has accomplished by doing what she loves and challenging herself every day.

We should all be more like her.. and get out there and be our very best selves! That’s how you get the furthest and reach even the furthest seeming goals.

So please- go do what you love and be confident in it! Gifts and talents aren’t meant to be ignored, they are meant to be used and grown.

In closing, I’d like you to know how impressed I am in myself that I just re-did this entire post after it got deleted. I think I will go do a small jig now. Waaahhhooo!

Thanks for reading!

Codi

Grandpa’s Shop

5 Replies

Let’s take a look back into my competition soccer days. Running laps.

You could always find me 13,000 miles behind everyone else. OK.. maybe I was not ever THAT far behind, but you get the gist; I hated it. It also didn’t help that I probably looked like Wormtail from Harry Potter.

“Hey guys, wait up!!”

I’m not a good runner nor have I ever been! But- I did it. I always finished even if I had to stop to barf somewhere along the way. Wow, what an attractive picture this whole last paragraph just painted, I am such a beautiful woman! I might as well end this blog post here and leave it at that; I will have so many followers now.

The point I am getting at is that life is not always fun. Sometimes it is a walk, sometimes it is a run. And the last few months have definitely been a run for little old me. This post is #1 of the yucky run saga, so please enjoy.

“When I got home from House of DVF..”- this is a phrase I feel I’ve used in my blog posts a billion times, so here I go using it again. But when I got home, I was very out of sorts. You see, I left to New York thinking I was going to be there for at least a month (since that is what I was told by production). So my husband and I decided it would be best for us to pack up our lives and put everything into storage, so he could stay with his parents while I was gone; I didn’t want him to be alone. We were going to move to a new place when I got done with my DVF shenanigans.

So it was quite the surprise when I was only in New York for a whopping 4 days! Wow. We really packed up our lives for this? And were then instantly homeless. So we camped out at the in-laws house for a few days. It was then that my sweet grandpa started getting very sick. He had been sick for years but this time I knew it was much more serious. I couldn’t handle it, I tried to just ignore it for so long, but it got to the point where I realized grandpa wouldn’t be here much longer. I wouldn’t be able to walk into his shop and give him a big hug. I wouldn’t be able to hear him saying “I just want you to remember how much we love you, we pray for you every day. We sure are lucky to have our Codi.” While his shaky hand held mine and his big eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t take it. My heart felt like it was being crushed, smashed and ripped into a billion pieces.

Grandpa was the kindest person I’ve ever known; he was always looking out for everyone’s well being and happiness over his own. For the last 10 or so years of his life grandpa was wheelchair bound due to his neuropathy. He got depressed often because he could no longer do service (to the extent he would like) for others. He was the ultimate fix it man, grandpa knew how to build or fix just about anything. But what always impressed me most was his ability to build people up, and fix broken hearts. There was not a soul he didn’t treat like they were the most special person in the world; especially grandma.

As my marriage was winding down, I remember walking into grandpa’s room to talk to him. He laid there, sick, pale and thin, yet the first thing out of his mouth was “You just hang in there sweetie, everything is going to be alright.” I sat next to his bed and held his hand while I cried like a baby. It was my regular routine for weeks on end- I still don’t know where all of that water came from. I was just so confused and so heartbroken. Trying to piece together a relationship that was hurting my very being, while trying to cope with saying goodbye to grandpa. He looked at me and said, “Code, look at me and grandma. Have you ever seen grandma upset like this? I do everything I possibly can to make her happy, and you deserve that too.” then he laughed and said ” Well.. maybe don’t look at me and grandma the last few years, because she has had to do everything for me!” referring to how she had to physically do everything for him. This should have made me laugh, but it made me cry harder because of how cute he was. Always trying to make others laugh, and always looking on the bright side even when things looked pretty dang dark. I’ll never forget what he said to me that day though, I do want the same relationship that grandma and grandpa had. More than anything.

Not even just solely their relationship, but I want someone who is always thinking and doing kind things for others, and not just for me. Grandpa was a perfect example of this form of Christlike love. And I think it draws a neat parallel to how talented he was with woodworking, and fixing things. He has a whole shop full of tools; all used to mend things that are broken, and create objects to use for some purpose or another. The shop is in essence, just like grandpa. And also just like Christ- it’s whole purpose is to mend and to create. And tools cannot serve their purpose unless they are in the hands of someone who knows how to use them.

Grandpa’s shop

Sweater: Thrifted

Skirt: Shabby Apple- Waltzing Matilda

Bracelet: Tarina Tarantino

“Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”

Jacket: Thrifted (sorry I thrift too much, get off my back!)

I’d be lying if I said being in the shop without grandpa there was easy. It’s just not quite the same.

When I stepped into the shop it was very cold, so I flipped on the old heater. It groaned to life and that stale smell of burning dust filled the room. It started to warm up as I set up my tripod. As it got warmer in there, memories started coming to mind. And it helped me think of all the joy and warmth he brought to not only grandma, but the rest of our family and numerous other people. It reminded me what I want to strive to be, not only for myself but for my future family. And I want someone by my side who will build me up to be a better me each day.

I’m holding my standard of men wwaaayy up on grandpa’s level; I want to marry someone who carries the same virtues and kindness as him. I want to constantly feel the way he made every one around him feel; loved valued and special. I want to use the tools I have been given in life to do good wherever I go. And I can’t wait to find the man who has his own “shop full of tools” to build up those around him. I am so incredibly grateful for the amazing example I have in my sweet grandpa.

So now if you’re feeling sad or nostalgic or something like I was, don’t be. Scroll back up to the top of this post and look at the picture of Wormtail again.

Till next time my friends!

Codi

Not Too Shabby

3 Replies

Hey, I am back!

And I am going back in time.. to when I got home from House of DVF.

I am going to be honest- keeping up with a blog is tough stuff for me. Especially when I am writing on the past and reflecting back on things that have already happened.. and were also rough on me. It is also hard with my school projects and photo gigs that are piling up like dirty laundry! Eeeek! I need a life manager, anyone interested in filling this position?? If so contact me at codineedsmajorhelp@aintnobodygottimefothat.com, thanks!

So. I am going to go ahead and start with my outfit deets from House of DVF. Just jumping right in.

I exited House of DVF in a whole lot of Shabby Apple goodness!

Sweater- Bielby sweater

Skirt- Bloom Skirt (in mint)

Is it so wrong that I just wore this outfit again this week, in the cold winter weather? No, the colors make me too happy, go away winter, no one likes you!

Shabby Apple is great for so many reasons. 1. It is all super modest and fashionable. I don’t have to worry about wearing anything under or over any of my Shabby Apple clothing. 2. It is owned and run by the SWEETEST people. They are super professional, kind and just plain awesome! 3. Um. Just go take a look for yourself. I have an eye on the Athelia Skirt right now.. hoping to wear it to my next royal ball of course!

Shabby Apple clothes have the tendency to make me feel like a princess..even when I am playing dress up in my room.

Necklace: Katie Waltman Jewelry

So go check them out and give them some love! Though I was sent home from House of DVF, at least I walked out in style!

Speaking of being sent home, I’d like to write a little love note to my girl Tiffani.

Tiffani went home on this last Sunday’s episode. I sure love this girl! I think we are soul sisters. I mean, not just because we were both grungy concert-attending teens at one point in our lives. But I also think we sort of have the same sense of humor. One of the times I was in NY to film I met up with Tiff one night to grab dinner. We went down to a little diner and talked about how we each had found out about House of DVF. Turns out we were the only two who found out about the opportunity from Craigslist and Facebook. So this must mean we are both very classy ladies.. or just very lucky haha! I think we are similar in the way that this opportunity was very unreal to us. From our upbringings, to where we live; I don’t think either of us had ever expected to get an opportunity like this in life ( at least not at this age). Something like this seemed almost unattainable, it was sort of like we had found a Golden Ticket!

Love this girl like a sister!

As we sat at the diner eating, we started coming up with ideas of funny things we wanted to do. Ok, so whenever something crazy happened we were supposed to let the producers know so they wouldn’t miss any good footage. Tiff and I decided it would be wise if we set up a little skit. We were going to call them and say something along the lines of “Woah, there is a huge fight going on right now on the 10th floor! Kier and Abs are having a legit sword fight. Brittany knocked Lenore out and Jinna is egging them on! Amanda is wrestling with Rhianna and Coco.. and we don’t even know why they are back.. and to top it off DVF is sitting in the middle of it all crying!!” Ok, maybe I elaborated that a bit.. but we were going to say something similar hahah. So then when the crew would come rushing up to the 10th floor of the hotel, Tiff and I would have a boombox set up playing some goofy song. And we would come out doing a choreographed dance in our footie pajamas. Oh my gosh, I’m still mad we never got to follow through with this plan. It would have been the best!! But let’s be honest, they would have cut the footage to make it look like we showed up to our first day of work in our footie pajamas, and it was super unprofessional of us. Then it would cut to a scene of me crying saying “Footie Pajamas are power!” I can just see it now!

After Tiffani and I ate we walked over to Rite Aid to get some snacks. We pulled around those funny little baskets and filled them with really healthy choices like chocolate candy and chips. We spent a good while looking at the cheap makeup and talked about life. I remember Tiff saying something about makeup, and she was going to make sure her makeup was flawless through the show so she could hopefully get some modeling gigs. Um, her makeup could be smeared all over her face and she would still look gorgeous! You New York people better utilize little Tiff’s gorgeous self for some modeling before she gets snatched right up by some big agency! If I lived in NY she would be my model of choice on the daily!

Why is she so perfect??

Tiff is also an AMAZING singer. Would you ever have guessed? She needs to record her stuff asap. You would all drool over her voice. I guess it’s just not fair she got blessed with so many great qualities. She’s only 19, and Tiff is going to go far in life!! I am so proud of her, and so grateful I got to know her and now have such a great friend; the little sister I never had!

Tiffani really made an impact on me when we were in the middle of filming. There was a moment off camera when she came up to me and gave me a big hug. She said something like “I’m so glad you’re here. This whole thing is going to be really hard and stressful. It is nice to know there is someone like you here I know will be there for me when things get tough.” Just that sentence made my whole day. It made me feel needed and important. Tiffani is the perfect example of someone who is taking control over where her life goes no matter what set of cards she is dealt. She is such sweet, beautiful girl and I am so excited to hear about her new adventure working at the DVF store!!

Go read her departure blog here. You won’t regret it!

Tiffani was on my mind a LOT once I got home from NY and started going through the bumpiest final patches of my marriage, and the last days spent with my grandpa before he passed. Watching Tiff’s successes and growth, I knew I could get through my trials as well and come out on top. My next post will be on these very personal and life changing trials I went through (and some rad leather bags that you will want to snatch right up), so make sure to check back next week!

Thanks for reading, til next time!

Love, Codi

i am codi

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Grandpa’s Shop

Not Too Shabby